The Buppi Book

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Miaou
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The Buppi Book

Post by Miaou » Sat Oct 22, 2016 6:58 am

The following are pages from a notebook that's seen better days. The pages in the beginning look to be older, dating years back from the state the paper is in. Some pages make no sense, simple notes on different things. Most all of it is written in boyish script with mistakes throughout.

Page one:

eggs milk bendir hwkin hawk'in sleep bupp Buppi feet toes hill
Andi Andy Dazza Larkin Larken elf hin humen dwaf nome

t The hin lies under the shade of a tree.

cup spoom spoon swoard sward sword spear

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

fix sling
fix clotheses
light for hill
gnolls
Ravi
find soap
spear

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

collar slave dark undrdark underdark ravi help hide find drow raise raiser shoe grass

stonehold
highmoon


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

uesl useless bottle wheat cotton Cordor



The rest of the page is dominated by a crude drawing of what could be taken for four figures standing beside each other with a gate behind them. It looks to be two smaller figures, then a more feminine figure, and finally a figure with a goofy looking mustache. A fifth figure seems to have been added in later, another female by the looks of it, little stick hands raised and ready to punch. Below, in big bubble letters, reads;

"BURROWHOME"

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Re: The Buppi Book

Post by Miaou » Wed Dec 14, 2016 5:03 pm

Page five:

To keep up my writing skills, da has told me to keep writing reports. All this paper drawing has been useful to keep notes for my Hawk'in duties, and finally writing down rekip reckipie how-to foods. Traveling between Cordor and the Dale has been difficult. I enjoy walk.

Robe human has been mean to Ravi. Not unlike him, lies. Trying to help Ravi best I can but feel useless. Yatta keeps me company still. Family is werd weird. Keeping orcs away helpful. Finally feel at home but not secure.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ravi
Grand da
Dazza jokes
fishing
light on hill

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Surrounding the notes are crude drawings of what one could consider plants, buildings, a stick person, a fish cut in half, and a very large square.

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Re: The Buppi Book

Post by Miaou » Wed Dec 14, 2016 5:17 pm

Page eighteen:

Everything is wrong. Raisers travel through the Dale and I am told to do nothing about it. Da was threatened by "Boots". She came from nowhere and held a blade to his throat, threatened me and Dazza. Didn't know what to do. Not allowed to go into Dark. I am scared. Ravi has been down below too often. Dazza has grown distant, did not like join of Hawk'in. Da speaking of joining Scout.

Got drunk at Nomad. Barwoman gave me drinks anyways. Blind friend named Shallan apparently helped, as did Morgan. Morgan dunked my head into water and held it there as I yelled, apparently. I am scared. Shadows keep touching my life. Family is acting weird. Why does Yatta ignore me? What is going on with the Fort?

I am scared.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On the right side of this page is a little drawing of a small stick figure being held by a larger stick figure by the neck and leg, dunking the smaller figure into a crudely drawn bowl of water. A figure watches on in what could be described as robes and a stick. Below this is written;

Boots
Seter
Morgan Gracehold
Shallan
Pavera

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Re: The Buppi Book

Post by Miaou » Fri Dec 16, 2016 4:46 am

Page thirty-four:




Ravi is dead.




The page is dotted with spots of dried liquid, splashes of water as if written in rain. But the drops are large and mostly grouped in one spot below the charcoal written letters, which themself seems to have been written in terribly shaken hands. On the right side is markings of crimson, like the right hand fingers that held the page were covered in red ink, a marking of fingerprints and creases from one's palm. The red ink dried, but thick and clottish, dark in colour. No other markings are on this page.

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Re: The Buppi Book

Post by Miaou » Thu Dec 22, 2016 11:40 am

The pages between thirty-four and and fourty have been torn out, destroyed, a few burned. One of the pages is a crude drawing of what could be a male elf. All that remains is hints of a long ear, an arm and legs. Words seem to be written around this drawing but each one is the target of selective burning. One of these words show "Za" before the rest is burnt out.

Page fourty:

Recently, I have taken up working for the group known as GAB. It stands for "Good Against Bad", which I feel is a stupid name but what can I do. Shallan got some work with them, but I find them pretty stupid. They hardly know who I was yet let me sit in on one of their "special" meetings.

Regardless, I have joined under the idea of information. I have little idea what I am to be doing but they have allowed such. The building is small yet homely, warm fire and comfy pillows. There is talk of moving from the location, where I do not know.

The occupation of "Researcher" has been given to me, in the area of herbs and specifically "Wolf's Bane", an herb that assists in removing Malar's Gift. To help with this I have been spending more time in the stone city than up north, but I keep up my Hawk'in patrols. I do not care to enter the fort at current, the passing of Ravi and the awkwardness between family has grown too much for me to handle.

I soon hope to cook.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

GAB
Wolfsbane
Soap
Soap?
Clothes
Soap
Clean

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Re: The Buppi Book

Post by Miaou » Mon Dec 26, 2016 11:30 pm

Page fourty-two:

Hilltop Wine

4 lb black berries (Bendirian grown)
3 lb sugar (cane)
1 gallon water
5 yeast
1 lb secret

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pick Bendir dark grapes, wash in bowl then crush, put in barrel. Add gallon of boiling water and mix. When warmish add in yeast, cover and place in storage for 5ish days, check and mix daily. Pour into large pot through strainer (use the fancy one I took from the Nomad, looks like thin cloth) and add sugar and the secret. Stir until all the sugar vanishes. Pour into secondary barrel and seal. When bubbles are gone, roughly one tenday, place barrel in cold spot (cave, that creepy hiding spot behind the Nomad, Halls?) for three-four months. After time has passed, bottle into dark glass (Use black sands), then store for six months to age, a year to mature. Extra time for added fancy.

Do not drink the wine until finished. Do not "sample" the wine until finished. Do not drink all the wine when finished.

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Re: The Buppi Book

Post by Miaou » Sun Jan 15, 2017 7:59 pm

A few pages seem to have been added from other notebooks. This is one of them. The paper seems new, at least new during the time at the end of the 125th year of AR.

Page ??? #1:

Meetings are boring. Meetings are boring. Meetings are boring. Meetings are boring. Meetings are boring. Meetings are boring. Meetings are boring. Meetings are boring. Meetings are boring. Meetings are boring. Mootings Meetings are boring. Meetings are boring. Meetings are boring. Meetings are boring. Meetings are boring. Meetings are boring. Meetings are boring. Meetings are boring. Meetings are boring. Meetings are boring...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The page is covered in the repeating of those three words. Below are small sketches of a floating rock with a grand tower, a flying city perhaps. Buildings of grand design, at least represented design, surround the tower on the top of the rock.

Other sketches include a cat of some sort coloured in with ink to be dark, a symbol of a rampant griffon, and what one could describe as a spear set before a full moon. The last design is done multiple times, each one slightly different as if testing designs.

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Re: The Buppi Book

Post by Miaou » Sun Apr 23, 2017 3:20 pm

Page Two-Hundred and Seven:

Why does he not understand? Can he not see the pain I am going through? See through my lies though not all the way?

My heart wishes things I do not. To rend and destroy the lives of others, to punish those who wrong my family to the fullest extent. To wipe clean this isle of the abomenat abominations that plague it.

But I can not.

What I wish for is to safeguard those I care for, live peacefully with them. Nurture them. See them grow, aspire to great things. I wish to be accepted. I wish to be seen as equal.

Why, instead, do I destroy them?

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Re: The Buppi Book

Post by Miaou » Mon Apr 24, 2017 2:44 am

These last two pages are the most recent written, at the year 128 A.R.. This one is stained with blood on the right side.

Page Two-Hundred and Eight:

I almost threw it all away.

Wandering the desert. It was the only option. Get lost in the sands, in the hope that the judgments would come. That I would finally be judged. Do they not understand that I wish my own judgment more than anyone else? I messed up worse than any soul in that hive of filth that was to be my home?

She is not here with me. I doubt she would find me. I've reached my soul out to find her but the hatred runs too deep. My arm is still broken, I never allowed anyone to heal me. My hand. After all the work he did to save it, I've ruined it again. He worked to save me and those around me from it, and I just ruined it all. It bleeds now, dripping on paper and sand alike. Would he care, truthfully, for a hin halfling like me? Would anyone? The cage swallowing my soul is as strong as can be. I can no longer trust. Why would anyone trust me? Why would anyone care enough to listen to my words?

Why do I destroy, why do I lie and spit venom at those who show me small amounts of kindness? Why do I turn the wheel and shift the swaying of this damn boat? Why do I not get stopped? Why is there no one there to stop me?

Why does he not understand?

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Re: The Buppi Book

Post by Miaou » Thu Apr 27, 2017 5:25 pm

Page Two-Hundred and Ten:

I no longer know what day it is. I stopped caring at some point. And I do not mean I lost hope, I mean that it does not matter right now. It doesn't matter as much as them.

I've gotten used to the screams I hear in this cell, torn apart from the weave. I've gotten used to the loneliness, the hope that someone might visit is still there, though.

We spoke. I saw her! My heart beat so hard, but I tried to not show it. She was here, we touched. I felt her embrace. The hardships boiled over. I could feel myself relax, I could feel those old crusty bars around my soul crack and give away some. The cup that holds my emotions was felt the stability of her hands instead of tumbling out of control. It was frightening pleasant.

I don't want to tell them that I was fine, for the moment. I don't want to tell them I forgot about all the issues going on outside. I could have said I was fine to leave, I bet they would trust my word. It was offered, but I did not take it. The outside world is not the place for me anymore. It will be some time before I get outside again, perhaps. I wonder how the judgments are going. Apparently I am to go on trial.

Sometimes I feel like just releasing entirely and giving up control, throwing myself at whatever it is, doing what should have been done years ago and having their throats torn from their necks. Seeing them fall prey, myself above them to show that I am right. That their filthy souls covered in blight and rot will not hurt those I care for anymore. Hang their head on a

Perhaps I shouldn't write while here. Maybe the screams are getting to me.

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Re: The Buppi Book

Post by Miaou » Wed May 10, 2017 8:56 pm

Page Two-Hundred and Eleven:

Is he serious? Will he actually be that for me? Will she be that for me? I do not know. It doesn't make sense. People don't just do something. That's not how the world works. Everyone has reasons. I'll just get abused later on. I'll just get tormented, outcasted, and banished again. They can't be serious. They can not care for this broken hin before them.

Why don't I know who I am?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The bottom of the page has been torn off, below the written words.

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Re: The Buppi Book

Post by Miaou » Sun May 14, 2017 6:54 am

Page Two-Hundred and Thirteen:


Killed a hin.

Stopped Kyle from killing an elf.

Chased by drow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Added later.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dumb paladins rubbing their "swords" and boast about how "holy" their "swords" are than walk. Staying far away from them now.

Accidentally raided Anundor. Got elf out, and got our bounties removed.

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Re: The Buppi Book

Post by Miaou » Mon May 29, 2017 10:34 am

Page Two-Hundred and Fourteen:


I did it. It is done. My message was sent. These decades of abuse to my emotions boiled over. She's done. I have little care now. Hin are not my people. If they once were, they no longer are. They have proven, time and again, they are not. I would rather take the disregard and thoughtlessness of the elves over hin any day. I would rather hear them tell me how little I am to them, how below my status is. I will take that abuse over what she has done.

Into my home, into my territory. She called me it once again. Called me what I am not. That vile word that should never be said towards me from her lips. I gave her a chance, to leave. I controlled myself for as long as possible.

I threw her to the ground. And will gladly do it again. You are not my family.

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Re: The Buppi Book

Post by Miaou » Sun Jun 25, 2017 1:49 am

Page Two-Hundred and Fifteen:

Guil dulutane sig thibu nis balant rilldi.

You were there. You sneered at my existence. You were caught at last. But then... It was a blur. Da did something and I was torn away. Out of one reality and into the next. Magic, heavy magic. A hissed word to me as an explanation. "Banites." That was all. I voiced out to ask what is going on, and-

Blind. Dizzy. Nothing made sense. I stumbled, fleeing. It was a bad dream, I was torn back into the world before. Except, I was blind still. It was all there. Upside-down. Nothing made sense. But that dream, it was so vivid. I was with the elves. They wanted me with them! I stood with them. I wanted that back. I tried to go back. Jacob wouldn't let me. I knew she was there again. The slaver was there. I hated this reality. I didn't want to be there. I wanted anything to just not see, not hear. I blinded myself with him. And it stopped. It all stopped.

I closed my eyes and saw.

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Re: The Buppi Book

Post by Miaou » Sun Jul 02, 2017 10:42 am

Page Two-Hundred and Seventeen:

Saw a fly. Dodged better than a monk. Opened the door for it and it zipped off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of the page is very detailed drawings of flies, little dash marks behind them to indicate movement. Some are small, just a black dot with loops for wings. Some are large and close, creepy little things.

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Re: The Buppi Book

Post by Miaou » Fri Jul 14, 2017 10:17 am

Page Two-Hundred and Twenty-One:

Why is it weird that to talk to a cow or goat while milking it? It's the best way to pass the time while doing so. They have good stories too.

Why is it weird that I mark my territory? Snow also went on about physical boundaries or something, but I didn't understand. She got all weird when I asked if I could touch her ears. Tried to explain whatever it was to me, about personal space and people having "private" areas. I grabbed Woody's rear and he didn't seem to mind. Snow seemed to mind more than him, and I did not touch her.

People are weird.

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Re: The Buppi Book

Post by Miaou » Sat Jul 22, 2017 3:33 am

Page ??? #2:

This is a page that is simply shoved into the notebook. There's traces of powdered sugar and a second powder, crushed latex from the Poppy plant. It seems these two were mixed together into a crude candied drug. At least the user did their mixing on a paper and not the floor or somewhere entirely dirty.

An additional page (which appears to be stuck to the first from the melted mixture of the two powders) has crude writing on it. Written with a charcoal stick that must not have held up, as the writing simply stops with a large dark mark as if the stick broke. Mistakes and smearing of the charcoal are everywhere.


It's th▮ end It's the end It's the end It's the end It's the end It's the end It's the end It's the end It's the end It's the end It'▓s the end It's the end It's the end It's the▕end It's the end It's the ▤nd It's the end It's the end It's the end It's the end░ It's the end It's the ▮nd It's the end It's the e░nd It's the end It's the end It's the end It's the end It's the end▓▓▓▓▓

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Re: The Buppi Book

Post by Miaou » Fri Aug 25, 2017 6:02 am

Page Two-Hundred and Twenty-Five:






I am happy.

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Re: The Buppi Book

Post by Miaou » Fri Dec 01, 2017 9:04 am

Page Two-Hundred and Twenty-Nine:

I am tested.

I must be. All of these trials that come to me, over and over. Endless. From one problem to the next. With long lasting issues always looming in my mind. I can't even understand why people do not take issue with things I do. Am I wrong? Is everything I was taught simply not right?

I have sinned.

I made her scared. I made him scared. I have hunted. I lost control. I thought I could see some light in my life, some progress, some sign that things have moved forward. Every step I try to take I end up slipping and slamming my chin into the ground and biting my tongue.

I have consumed.

Feeding on those that show me any sort of kindness, just to swallow it whole without care. I will run out of those who care for me, again, and have to resort to feeding off myself. I won't last long.

I have been chained.

In the end, I always have been. Freedom is not something I am allowed. If I am free, I am not able to protect what I love. And if I do not protect them, I will be lost and alone. I will be without anyone and without even this false family I try to surround myself with.

I have cried.

Endlessly. The past is too much, and effects my current and future too much to ignore. It drags on my heart, and forces me to leak those tears of mine into the world. I don't want anyone to drown on them.

I have failed.

Who am I to call myself a priestess? That warden of causes that I struggle to even do myself, let alone teach others? I live still, so there might still be hope. My legs will break with the number of times I have fallen.

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Re: The Buppi Book

Post by Miaou » Thu Mar 22, 2018 2:47 pm

Page Two-Hundred and fifty-two:


I wasn't fit to be a lord. I am not one to lead. I wasn't happy. The Halls cared little about those in my service. Heck, they did not care about me. I wished out of that. There is no point serving someone or a people if I am not cared for. At least Myon had the decency to lie to me.


When it became known that they tossed around those collars, I refused to stay on any longer. I wrote my resignation. When I handed it to Ghestaldt, he did not even care to speak on it. It was above him. How "typical" I was being. If Finibelle was still here, things would be a lot better.


Still, I left. I was freed. I could do what I wished, go where I wanted to. I finally stepped into Myon's clergy. Everything was going so well, my family was happy. We had a family nap. Yeto told a story, too.


How wrong I was.


Scarlett starts to talk to me about outragious ideas. I could never support them. The conversation ended with us agreeing to speak on it later. Then


Ma. She got hurt. Jadoth hurt her. He was an idiot and set her emotions too high. He didn't listen to her. He didn't care about anyone except himself. If it wasn't for ma's wishes, he would be dead. Dead.


Nobody informed me that Snow was hurt. I walked in on her surrounded by Jacob, Lacroix, and others I didn't know. She was stable. They got her stable. I was happy for that, at least. I ordered that Jadoth wasn't to come near Snow, Jacob agreed. She didn't need this to happen to her twice in such a short timespan.


And then it was just days of waiting. Letting Snow recover, heal. She was bedbound by my and Jacob's orders, with some light walking for exercise. I stayed with her. I mostly napped on the bed beside her. At first I had to leave her, to get my anger out but I wish to be beside her. She is my ma.


This is when Scarlett randomly comes in demanding me. I was in the middle of giving Snow a checkup. I begrudgingly left to see what Scar' wanted. She brought me to the library. To Jasper.

He got caught. I was furious. I questioned him. Found out who did it. How it happened. Then told them to keep safe, I was going to go kill the one who did it. They kept trying to stop me. Scarlett never listens to me. I said as much, and turned to leave once more. They left me alone this time.

I went below. Not for my stated purpose. Even in my hatred, I knew slaying that kobold now would only cause problems. No, I needed to check on a few things which I won't write about. But as I walked through the hub, who do I see. Jasper. He was above, he was safe. Why did he come back down below?

Before I could question him, I was spotted and had to get out. I went to Myon. I couldn't tell Snow all of this. It would break her heart more than it already is. I wanted time to figure out how to tell her. But Gorudan, the idiot, apparently bursted that bubble. Yeto and Lacroix dealt with it swiftly and I was sent for. I sprinted to Cordor as fast as my four legs would allow. She was out. She was healthy, but out. They knocked her out before it got bad.

I had Lacroix mix up some medicine, and laid beside Snow. I passed out for a time beside her. I wish I could keep her safe. Only a few hours later did I wake up enough to eat a bit and write this. I'm worried how she will wake up.


I wish my family would just be safe. Just be healthy.

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Re: The Buppi Book

Post by Miaou » Wed Mar 04, 2020 8:19 am

This crumbled page isn't found in the covers of The Buppi Book. It's found almost discarded in the stones of an old wall surrounded by other similar forgotten pages.

A Lost Page:

2 Eleint 159 AR

It has been years. Decades have past, and I am the last one on this isle. I've many regrets and many doubts still. The roads still call to me but not as they once did. There is comfort to be had in the communion of others, and I can not walk these paths alone anymore.

Those of the sixth have all left me behind. Some lucky to abandon the call for a different one elsewhere, though most dying to the greatest of foes we saught to combat. I feel lonely now, abandoned. Yet still these roads I walk.

I even wear my pin still, yet in my own shame for being the last I keep it turned around. Even though I keep wearing it I can not feel I can represent the order as it should be. Maybe it is time to move on, maybe it is time for me to get back in line. I am unsure where these paths take me.

What I wish for the most is that those who've left do take some pride in me. The knight-commanders, my own knights. I was a pretty awful and needing squire. As he did say, "You are not taught to be a knight. You are born one, and trained to fit it." If only I let myself be as so.

Much as changed, and like the rest of the long lost words of past brothers and sisters I have doubts and concerns. Maybe it is time I let those go, and simply start to walk again. Maybe it is time.






Maybe I'm just an idiot.



----

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