Being ordained as a full fledged knight is a significant rite of passage for any Paladin. Despite claims to the contrary, squireship is cherished as much as the puberty. Pimples and awkward changes in the voice goes hand in hand with lousy chores, carrying shields and armor for his knight for the adolescent squire. The inglorious misery of squireship is worsened by the fact that he is chased by every imaginable villain with bloodlust. Kobolds, goblins, harpies, zombies, even puddles of slimes are after a piece of the hapless squire.
For the post-pubescent Edward Silverarms, it took two long years of collecting head from all manner of evil creatures to get ahead in his quest for knighthood. Carrying around a stinking, maggot-infested, blood-encrusted bag of grisly trophies for two years, the squire Paladin hoped he could rather live through his pimple-faced years all over again instead.
Nevertheless, the squireship challenged young Silverarms’ endurance, intestinal fortitude, and strength of resolve, preparing him for the hard life before him. Then, on one sunny Summer day in Year 132, Edward rose from his one knelt knee as a full fledged knight to receive his coveted Seal of Radiant Heart Knight, and claim the privilege to bear a Lance of Radiant Heart.
Over seven feet long and massively thick, the lance greatly boosted the knight’s confidence in himself, for it appeared powerful enough to pierce through dragons, demons, and devils alike. No longer did Edward feel self-concious while wielding his needle-thin rapier, dismounted or spelunking in deep dark caves. He had his very own Lance of Radiant Heart to compensate for his smaller weapons - until he actually wielded the weapon in combat.
The goblin charged ferociously, hurling curses at Edward Silverarms in gibberish.
Grinning, anticipating the outcome, the paladin leveled his lance and aimed at the insolent goblin before a spirited charge in full gallop!
“TALLY HO!”
With a triumphant shout, Edward commenced his epic attack. Dust cloud rose as storm from the thundering gallop!
“Poke?”
The Goblin was in utter shock. Edward was suspended in disbelief.
“Poke? Poke? Poke?”
“What in Torm’s pantaloon is going on?!” Blasphemed the disappointed Paladin as he repeatedly exerted in vain to pierce the measly Goblin with his seemingly mighty lance before finally drawing his rapier in frustration to end the battle.
It was then Sir Edward Silverarms of Radiant Heart — the descendant of Duke Erik Silverarms of Benwick — had an epiphany and gained two morsels of great truth through this mortal combat: One, the size of one’s lance matters only in taunting tiny foes who can never wield large weapons; Two, The Lance of Radint Heart is just... horrible!
Armed with this new revelation, Sir Edward Silverarms of Radiant Heart began his first chivalric quest: The Quest~ to Awaken The Lance of Radiant Heart!”
Edward Silverarms’ Lance of Radiant Heart
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Edward Silverarms’ Lance of Radiant Heart
"Drider-man, with Great Smite cometh Great Responsibility to SMITE THEE!!!" - Erik Silverarms, in The Underdark. Circa AR 63
Re: Edward Silverarms’ Lance of Radiant Heart
-The Awakening-
Years passed, and “Edward the Errant” — as the paladin had become known — shared myriad of uncanny adventures on Arelith with those of Radiant Heart and beyond. He rode into battle in The Shadow Plane alongside the legendary archer Nicodemus; he helped Emelina — a drow-slave herself — emancipate a little girl’s soul from a devil’s bondage; and he toiled alongside the defenders of Minmir Battlefield to help stem the tide of undead, oblivious of the affairs of different settlements on Arelith. Throughout his adventures, the paladin always wielded his ostensibly impressive lance whenever he was mounted, desperately hoping that his skill would one day grow to match the majesty of the weapon.
He was summarily disappointed. Unfortunately, the constant reminder of his inability to effectively wield his massively long and thick lance became a seed of doubt. As most readers know, doubt is an existential threat to a paladin whose faith is unshakable, whose divine shield is his conviction. For his pride, for his sanity, and for his soul, something had to be done and fast.
Edward’s salvation came in the form of a revelation. Perhaps Torm himself took pity on his loyal knight as Edward lost his smiles in his smites. Smite no longer had any might for the height of his bright lance had no bite!
One day as Edward poked his lance through the empty space between yet another pair of skeletal ribs in Minmir Battlefield, his mind took a gigantic leap of faith that perhaps applying a coat of positive essence would help him battle the negativity and boost the performance of his Radiant Heart Lance.
Thus, breaking his vow of poverty, Edward the Errant began to collect wealth! And daily, he prayed for atonement for breaking his solemn vow. It is no exaggeration that Sir Edward Silverarms saved silver and gold like the dickens, and after nearly a year’s worth of collecting, he stood before nigh unholy amount of wealth! Even Westin, the banking fellow of The Arcane Tower could not help but feign utter indifference in shock as the paladin withdrew his mighty sum of — Twenty Thousand Gold Coins.
With the bag of gold, the paladin strode heroically. Then with a dexterity of an adept merchant, Edward hurled his bag of gold across the far reaches of the magical storefront, freeing the bonded bottle from the prison of its shelf, and grasped the holy item with his outstretched hands.
The Essence of Positivity felt cool in his hand. Edward felt his decade of lance anxiety evaporate as he uncorked the bottle and immediately poured the glistening content along the length of The Lance of Radiant Heart, imbuing it with the goody goodness of positive essence. Nearby mages in The Arcane Tower stared with their mouth agape in utter awe and disbelief as they beheld a sight so rare — the righteous awakening of The Lance of Radiant Heart!
Once the essence covered the length of his lance, and it was given proper blessings, Edward Silverarms hoisted the mighty weapon and held it aloft high above his head, there —in the busy stone foyer of The Arcane Tower. It is said that those who witnessed the blessed scene firsthand even heard the echoes of angelic choir singing a high note.
Nevertheless, the paladin’s quest to realize the full potential of the lance was not over...
Years passed, and “Edward the Errant” — as the paladin had become known — shared myriad of uncanny adventures on Arelith with those of Radiant Heart and beyond. He rode into battle in The Shadow Plane alongside the legendary archer Nicodemus; he helped Emelina — a drow-slave herself — emancipate a little girl’s soul from a devil’s bondage; and he toiled alongside the defenders of Minmir Battlefield to help stem the tide of undead, oblivious of the affairs of different settlements on Arelith. Throughout his adventures, the paladin always wielded his ostensibly impressive lance whenever he was mounted, desperately hoping that his skill would one day grow to match the majesty of the weapon.
He was summarily disappointed. Unfortunately, the constant reminder of his inability to effectively wield his massively long and thick lance became a seed of doubt. As most readers know, doubt is an existential threat to a paladin whose faith is unshakable, whose divine shield is his conviction. For his pride, for his sanity, and for his soul, something had to be done and fast.
Edward’s salvation came in the form of a revelation. Perhaps Torm himself took pity on his loyal knight as Edward lost his smiles in his smites. Smite no longer had any might for the height of his bright lance had no bite!
One day as Edward poked his lance through the empty space between yet another pair of skeletal ribs in Minmir Battlefield, his mind took a gigantic leap of faith that perhaps applying a coat of positive essence would help him battle the negativity and boost the performance of his Radiant Heart Lance.
Thus, breaking his vow of poverty, Edward the Errant began to collect wealth! And daily, he prayed for atonement for breaking his solemn vow. It is no exaggeration that Sir Edward Silverarms saved silver and gold like the dickens, and after nearly a year’s worth of collecting, he stood before nigh unholy amount of wealth! Even Westin, the banking fellow of The Arcane Tower could not help but feign utter indifference in shock as the paladin withdrew his mighty sum of — Twenty Thousand Gold Coins.
With the bag of gold, the paladin strode heroically. Then with a dexterity of an adept merchant, Edward hurled his bag of gold across the far reaches of the magical storefront, freeing the bonded bottle from the prison of its shelf, and grasped the holy item with his outstretched hands.
The Essence of Positivity felt cool in his hand. Edward felt his decade of lance anxiety evaporate as he uncorked the bottle and immediately poured the glistening content along the length of The Lance of Radiant Heart, imbuing it with the goody goodness of positive essence. Nearby mages in The Arcane Tower stared with their mouth agape in utter awe and disbelief as they beheld a sight so rare — the righteous awakening of The Lance of Radiant Heart!
Once the essence covered the length of his lance, and it was given proper blessings, Edward Silverarms hoisted the mighty weapon and held it aloft high above his head, there —in the busy stone foyer of The Arcane Tower. It is said that those who witnessed the blessed scene firsthand even heard the echoes of angelic choir singing a high note.
Nevertheless, the paladin’s quest to realize the full potential of the lance was not over...
"Drider-man, with Great Smite cometh Great Responsibility to SMITE THEE!!!" - Erik Silverarms, in The Underdark. Circa AR 63