A Frosted Journal

Moderators: Forum Moderators, Active DMs

Post Reply
User avatar
ColorMeLucky
Posts: 57
Joined: Fri May 11, 2018 12:05 pm

A Frosted Journal

Post by ColorMeLucky » Tue Jul 24, 2018 6:51 am

16th of Ches, 142

This is the first time I'm writing a journal, and it feels odd to even print my words to paper at this time. As I write this, the Ptarian Catechesis is open at my left, and my spellbook is at my right. But... Alexa gave me the idea to write this. And so I do. Seems to aid her.

Recently Mystra has blessed me a bit with the strength and convictions that I didn't know I needed. Never did I know what divine energy felt like within but now it suffuses me. When I grow elated and happy, I've noticed sometimes my hands glow. I feel a bit bad about being so easy to read, but hopefully others will take it as less of a threat.

I have changed from my days in Skal. I didn't know it but I changed as soon as came here, and ran about in wonder and amazement. Even now, Arelith holds much that I love and despise both. Among them, surprisingly Andunor is not a place I hate. I do not like some of it's residents, but there is still some down there who I believe are not so much evil by choice as necessity.

Aliel has been my rock this whole time. Alexa has supported me and Elysia's smile is a comfort. Many are my loves and friends, and I think this is a blessing from Sune and Hanali Celanil in joint, in response to my hopes and aspirations. Some things bother me of late, but most importantly I know that thanks to them, I have been growing.

Namlin is... wonderful, now. I feel that she has really changed for the better; there is less fear in her than before, and I don't think she realises it yet, but her reliance on the undead actually only fueled that fear because she knew it was wrong in the eyes of many. As I thought on this, she was talking to my new Rimeblade, Cedric, about her past, but was not shy about it, and didn't need a drink. She was being open and she has, even though she and I have struggled, grown incredibly. I believe I was right to reach for that light in her that year or so ago. Even if I failed her sometimes, or a lot, she knows I did my best, and now she's more free and happy than she's been.

Andunor threatens us, of course. I still have nightmares about watching Aliel fall to that vixen's blade, and having to bear a brave face when grief wracked my heart like a cannon or a firing line of gonnes. Every night, even as she rests beside me in reverie, I close my eyes and see it. It fills me with rage. With sadness. But most importantly, it tells me I must strive to never let it happen again. .

Finally, I suppose, the Frostblades themselves are changing. Our membership is smaller, but we are using this as an opportunity to change and grow. To reinforce ourselves and to reforge ourselves just as we did in Skal. I kinda miss the Hovding, it'd be great if maybe he could visit. Always so busy though, mostly in his paranoia.

I suppose it's fine. I hope Skal's okay. The winter frosts make it difficult to know when things are good or bad there, and Frank's not been answering runners. I want to go home and maybe just check on things for a tenday or two. Maybe one of the mages there are strong enough to pull me through the weave? Well, I'd want to bring Aliel too, of course. There's so much to do.

As I write this? I'm in front of the painting of Rami. I miss her.

She will smile on us, from Dweomerheart.
Current characters: Mach S. Fryar, Vastin
"I am Silnyir the Silver, and the Frostblades are my scales, wings and breath; and I will be it's heart."
- Mach
"Two hands on the job, that's what Pa says!"
- Vastin

Post Reply