A Howl In The Wind.

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FrozenSolid
Posts: 423
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Re: A Howl In The Wind.

Post by FrozenSolid » Thu Jan 25, 2018 9:10 am

Ellie had gotten a temporary room in the Logjam in Guldorand. A change of clothes and a deep hood made it easy enough to bypass any speculations about her identity so that she could stay the night.

The room was pleasant, her nose enjoyed the scent of the natural wood building. Down below in the Dark nearly everything was made of cold rock so this was a significant change. It didn't take long to get her gear off and change before she threw herself into bed.

She didn't tuck herself in much, but grabbed a pillow to hug as she closed her eyes. The gentle sway of the trees outside prompted by the cool breeze of mountain air paired with the quiet chirping of night time life lulled Ellie quickly into sleep.

And in her sleep she had a dream.

The scene came into focus for me rather abruptly, my nose filling with the warm, sweet morning air. The sun wasn't visible yet but the dawn was near, looking to the east I could see the first arches of pleasant pink morning sky. Could it get any better?

Yes... I notice I am laying down and wearing a simple but pretty dawn sky colored dress. My legs are bare but I am on top of a blanket and my head is propped up in someones lap. Quentin...

I smile up at him and feel his fingers push through my black hair. He isn't in his armour, he is also shirtless and totally hot. He smiles back at me and leans forward to kiss my lips, it's a quick kiss a loving kiss, just a brush of our lips but it's enough. As he sits back up he gently places his hands on my cheeks and says "Look, here comes the dawn."

We both turn to watch the sun rise saying nothing but I'm smiling the whole time. I nestle my cheek against his palm, his hands are calloused, probably from fighting, his hands are also strong. I'm content, I wish this moment would never end.

As time passes and the sun rises I watch as the beams of light push back the darkness, Quentin's hands tighten around my cheeks. The grip has a tinge of hostility to it, I feel a pang of fear.

As the light approaches us I find that it doesn't touch me, as the warm glow reaches my toes and legs it instead becomes cold then metal slowly locks across my legs. I recongize what is forming around me. My armour, adamantine, black, green... I squirm trying to get away I don't want this, not now!

Quentin holds me, his grip is like iron and I begin to cry for him to help me. I try to pull his hands off my cheeks but he won't let me go. The sun is up to my chest now, I feel the cold adamantine chain and the heavy breastplate lock across me. My breathing becomes ragged and labored.

"Quentin! Please, I don't want this!" I shout at him bawling my eyes out. He looks down at me taking his gaze from the dawn. He looks sad, not angry, not hateful, just sad... And worse? Disappointed.

The light reaches my chin, my helmet materializes around my head and now Quentin's hands are holding the outside of my helmet and I am looking at him through the narrow slits of my helmet. I blink.

Quentin is armored now, his armour is dirty like he has been in a fight. My whole body hurts, there is something warm running down my chin. I cough, the cough is wet, it's blood. I jerk my eyes away from Quentin and look at my armour. It's covered in mud too, dented and burned. I see blood trickling out if the exposed arm holes of my breastplate dripping through the adamantine chain underneath and into the grass.

I've stopped crying now, I'm confused. Why is this happening? I look back to Quentin hoping to find an answer. He just looks at me, like a father who was disappointed in their child. I whimper. He uses his hands that rest on my helmet and forces my head up to look at the coming dawn.

I try to jerk away from him, to fight, but I can't his grip is like iron. I'm crying again, I can feel my tears running down my cheeks. The sun is almost entirely up, I can't look away, all I see is light. Now I can feel the warmth filling me, making me whole and taking away the pain. I hear Quentin's voice but can't make out what he is saying.

I feel a hand release from my head and feel him press something into my hand. I can barely move. I hear him whisper again "I won't give up on you." He says softly. I want to kiss him but I feel like I'm no longer in control of myself. My lips begin to move. Oh gods please, please no!

I speak though every fiber of me tries to stop it. "I hate you" I say to Quentin venom dripping from my words "I will stomp your light out and make you feel so much pain that pain is all you feel." My voice is weak but the hate is firey hot. I try to shut my mouth but I can't. Then, I feel my hand move and I look down to it, the thing Quentin placed into my plated hand was a flower, and I just crushed it.

I hate myself, how could I do this? I hate myself, I hate I hate I hate.

My hand begins moving again, "No No No No!" I think to myself as my hand lands on my torn up leather belt lined with pouches. "I'll never give up on you. Quentin says again. It's the last words I hear.

My hand smashes a portal lense, I vanish from his arms and land with a dull thud on my back. I'm in the Underdark and I'm cold, my body hurts, I begin to sob.

...

Ellie jolts awake with a cry of terror she scrambles out of bed holding onto the pillow she had in her arms as if it were her most favorite stuff animal from her youth. She found herself standing in the middle of her Guldorand bedroom, the window was open nearby and silver moonlight streamed in. A cool breeze followed brushing against her bare thighs and exposed stomach.

She noticed another glow, her markings were burning red against her skin. She didn't care, pain was nothing. She felt herself sniffle, a lone tear falling from her eye and as another cold breeze touched her skin she retreated back to bed burying herself beneath the blankets.

She wished she could have more dreams about attractive shirtless men who kissed her, but that didn't seem to be her destiny. She fell asleep a few minutes later, alone, her slumber was without dreams for a for a few hours.

I'm in Wharftown, I'm laughing like a lunatic... Fully armored and warded I stand battle ready across from me is Quentin. I feel like I have no control, I'm just looking through my eyes but cannot move or speak. I feel my lips move.

"I have to kill you if I am ever going to let you go." I say, almost teasingly, gods I'm such a ...

The fight begins! Spells fly, I can't see half the time but my brain knows what to do, wands, scrolls, magic tears the air apart then our blades meet. "Crap" I think, I don't stand a chance.

The fury with which he moved took me by complete surprise. My blade clashes with him but I'm not as strong, my sword arm flails backwards. I raise my shield to compensate while I try to back up. He doesn't let me, he doesn't show mercy. He body slams my shield, I keep my footing but soon he has forced my shield arm painfully to the side.

It all happens in seconds but for me it feels like an eternity. I stand, exposed, both my arms to far away to block his next attack. The only thing protecting me is my plate and I already see his blade arching for the spot where my plate ends beneath my arm and is replaced instead by a adamantine chain mesh.

I can see his eyes. My blue eyes meet his, he doesn't even see me. I feel his blade slam into my side piercing through the chain and into my body. I let out a cry of pain and feel my sword drop from my hand. I expect him to show mercy, he doesn't.

I begin to buckle forward, the pommel of his scimitar slams into the back of my helmet as I fall helping me towards the ground. I hit the ground with a thud. The wet grass smells nice. I can see Quentin's boots, he steps closer. Where am I? I lose track of time, I feel displaced. Is this death? It's not so bad... Maybe I'll-

Ellie's second dream is cut short as her eyes open slowly. She had been holding her breath and her subconscious brain kicked in waking her from slumber so that she would breathe again. She intakes a breath and sighs staring at the ceiling. The sun is all the way up now and it's pleasantly warm. Birds chirp outside and she can hear people moving about downstairs...

Her dreams were always so vivid, often they were a result of a deeply troubled sub concious. It mixed reality with her desires and wants and produced a hybrid dream of both her passions, loves and fears all combined. Sometimes it was wonderful and sometimes it was dreadful.

Ellie felt sick in her stomach she lay in bed with no intention of moving.
*Didn't just do that* As an arrow flies hitting someone in the face.

FrozenSolid
Posts: 423
Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2017 4:02 am

Re: A Howl In The Wind.

Post by FrozenSolid » Fri Jan 26, 2018 8:46 am

Ellie crunched through the fallen leaves of an endless number of trees as the mid day sun bathed her skin in warmth. She stood on the edge of a cliff side over looking a lower section of valley. It was a perfect day.

Ever since her collar had fallen off it felt like the fog of hate in her mind had evaporated leaving only Ellie herself to stand back and look at what remained of her life. She didn't like what was left. She still struggled to accept what she had done. Part of her feared she might go back to that, she wondered if her markings had fueled the negative energy so greatly that she lost control.

The thought made her shiver. What she was sure of was that she had changed. For better or worse she was a hybrid of her former self, and her current. She had embraced evil and now wasn't sure that was what she wanted. Ellie felt older, she sighed quietly to herself.

...

I just finished speaking with Quentin. I was nervous, isn't that dumb? I'm a warrior of skill better then most could dream of yet meeting Quentin makes my knees go weak. The meeting went well, better then I could of hoped for.

He embraced me, hugged me tight and It felt like everything that makes me feel ugly just melted away. I hugged him back. He told me he forgives me. I still have a long list of transgressions to account for, but to Quentin? I'm clean. I can't describe what it's like to be told that. I just held onto him and rested my head against his chest.

We talked, I told him I belonged in Andunor, with my family, the Barriths my sisters. He was disappointed but understood, he told me he'd convince me to leave eventually, maybe he will?

I'm trying to figure out how I feel about Quentin, could we ever be more then friends? Maybe it's foolish to think like that. He is a noble paladin! And I'm... So much worse. But that never seems to matter to him. Could I ever be so forgiving? Probably not.

He's not invincible though. He told me about some of his own struggles, trials, challenges. That he feels alone. I want to ease his burden if I can. I owe him that much at least for everything he has sacrificed for me.

I gave him a special flower, it's petrified by magic, frozen in it's beauty. It smells glorious, always. I think he liked it, I gave it to him to make up for the one I crushed. And I feel like... Even if we are opposites he is still my friend, and that won't ever change.

Quentin gave me back some of my hair. Not really uh, a great gift... And given how butchered my hair was I assume multiple people have strands of it for magic and what not... I just pretend scrying doesn't exist and no one is watching me awkwardly.

I've had time to clear my head. It's probably time I head back...
*Didn't just do that* As an arrow flies hitting someone in the face.

FrozenSolid
Posts: 423
Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2017 4:02 am

Re: A Howl In The Wind.

Post by FrozenSolid » Sun Jan 28, 2018 8:05 am

Ellie sighed as she trudged home. It had been a frustrating cycle. It was hard enough to compete with ruthless monsters then ontop of it contending with surfacers. She was not particularly interested in killing surfacers but when they continually got in her way in the dark realm? ... She was astonished how many times she would find elves and others treading the depths, ironic then that they should ever be shocked the creatures of the depths return the favor to their surface settlements.

Time for revenge would come later, if surfacers were so enthralled by the darkness then eventually she would bring it to their doorstep and allow them to have all the darkness they wanted until they grew sick of it! She was tired of tripping over them like children's toys left on the floor of a house.

If Andunor was ever going to hold it's own it needed to get through it's internal struggles and Ellie had plenty of personal training to complete before she was comfortable facing some of the more dangerous powers of the depths.

Patience was important now. Take the hit and suck it up.

She sighed pushing the door open to the mansion stepping in to be greeted by the mansion guards and staff. She wasn't a slave anymore, she had earned her place and was relieved to have the butler and another assist her out of her battered plate.

It was time for wine, lots of wine.
*Didn't just do that* As an arrow flies hitting someone in the face.

FrozenSolid
Posts: 423
Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2017 4:02 am

Re: A Howl In The Wind.

Post by FrozenSolid » Wed Jan 31, 2018 5:42 am

How do you negotiate with a drow who is cappable, with a single spell, of ending your existence? The answer is carefully. If only that were how it all worked out.

Tensions are high in the Devils Table as my house, the First House is constantly berated by an upstart sharran male Drow. Today tensions boiled over. Waiting on the footsteps of our mansion this upstart and his hired help lurked. As a male drow of the Barrith house went to leave he opened the door and in stepped a small army fully warded and looking quite unfriendly.

I was shocked at first, who would even have the audacity to do such a thing? But my shock subsided as I saw the male drow, a cleric step forward and begin making demands to see the Matron. Collectively the retainers of the Barrith mansion gathered with me. The last thing we were going to do was let this terrorist in sight of the Matron.

We tried to get them to leave, but they were determined to not do that. We were given an ultimatium, fetch the Matron or die. Okay, checkmate, I sent a slave to inform the Matron we had a large number of uninvited guests. I was hoping more retainers might join us.

As we waited for the slave to return I tried to get the drow retainer who was staring the cleric down to back up. He didn't understand that Implosion was dangerous! But even as I got him to step back the upstart drow stepped forward we played an annoying and tense game of fidgeting that only resulted in us being a few feet from each other. Annoyed, I changed tactics laying my hand on my true strike wand as my other held my scimitar.

The tension in the room could be cut with a knife. And as if it could not get worse the slave returned and announced to everyone that the Matron would not be coming. Great... Everyone's positions shifted slightly, no one spoke but the message was clear. We we're going to fight!

I slowly began to pull my true strike wand out of my belt and as I did I heard a door swing open behind me and in walked the first daughter! She declared that everyone not invited should leave, that worked about as well as a gnome trying to throw a boulder... Tensions escalated, the male upstart repeated his demands.

As the upstart spoke he shifted his position into one that was more hostile. I saw this and began to tug my wand out. If I hesitated or miss judged his intentions he would instantly kill at the least one of us I'd have ONE chance to stop him.

As I moved a retainer behind me pushed past and lunged at the upstart. At the same time the rest of the retainers advanced as the situation exploded into combat. I had one goal, one focus. Stop the upstart before he can cast. I used my wand and lunged!

The male began walking backwards shoving past the mercenaries behind him. I couldn't reach him to knock him over but I did strike him as he stumbled back like a coward. I saw his blood, red, stain my blade! All around me fighting erupted, I shoved past past them trying to reach the male. His back hit the wall. I had him.

As I rushed forward something caught my attention. To my left in the crowd of people I saw a man appear... a mage!!

Crap crap crap crap

I looked back to the male drow, his robes were blood stained but a moment later he had cast a spell and vanished

Crap crap crap crap

I knew what was coming... I turned and started running. My plate boots hammered against the stone floor as I put everything into my retreat!! As I ran I heard exactly what I was afraid of. A terrible cry filled the room, I pushed harder. Behind me a huge shadow loomed and the braizers began to blow out. I heard the screams of the retainers nearest the spell.

Crap crap crap crap

I had to get farther away!

Crap crap crap cr-

I felt it hit me, like a sword through my brain. I lost my balance and began to fall forward. My eyes rolled back into my head, I had made it half way across the lobby but it wasn't enough. I hit the stone floor with a screech of metal on stone. I slid across the floor, then felt my soul release.

It was sometime before I was returned. Despite that single spell killing almost all of us the remainder of the retainers got the Matron out safely.

La'laskra restored me. My faithful service to her and her priestess paid off again.

So here I am sitting in the lobby of the mansion. Where does this end? I don't know. The blood has been cleaned up and new retainers filed In to replace the ones that died.

This is the Underdark.
*Didn't just do that* As an arrow flies hitting someone in the face.

FrozenSolid
Posts: 423
Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2017 4:02 am

Re: A Howl In The Wind.

Post by FrozenSolid » Thu Feb 01, 2018 3:26 am

Its been a stressful month. Fighting, politics, deceptions, betrayal, it's all been crammed into a single month. I've got a lot of work to do, house chores ordered by the princess and my own personal tasks.

To top it all off I was reading a message board when a male drow, a wild mage 'surged' his magic near me. RIGHT as he did this the Upstart drow we've been fighting walked by. Now this surge hit me and I felt super wierd.

The surge turned me into a chicken A CHICKEN in front of our houses most dangerous enemy.

Oh my gods...

When the spell faded I tried to look as tough as possible and pretend like I wasn't just running around clucking like an idiot. I marched up to the male wizard and we shared some words...

It hasn't all been bad, most drow don't love persay but that doesn't mean they aren't cappable of passion. I've caught the interest of a male drow in our house we've spent time together before and why wouldn't I? It's comfortable and refreshing, it's nothing super personal but we are United through the same house, we both serve the same masters.

...

I'm standing in my room it's pleasantly cool, I'm wearing my usual light attire. My arms are locked around the male drow as we stand together, pressed against one another looking into eachothers eyes. His are interesting, unlike anything a surfacers would have. They are savage, calculated yet primal. We're talking about combat, that's romantic for the Underdark. It's nice to be held by someone, to know they want to be with you.

I pause to wonder about this relationship. I wouldn't say I love this drow, but his loyalty is important to me, as is my loyalty to him as a retainer. I think we are equal in authority, he is a drow, and I am a human. But I'm female, and a sister of La'laskra those both count for bonus points!

We move around a bit as we speak and hold onto one another. He is strong and I let him guide and support me as we converse our eyes never looking away from one another. It isn't love that we're feeling I think, but an equal need for comfort and connection that can be found through intimate contact. Serving with him in this house I feel comfortable letting my guard down, besides if his loyalty is ever on the line I want him to remember these moments, it should make his choice easier.

Our conversation slowly runs dry there's nothing else to say. I'm smiling, it's funny to see a drow hesitate as if they aren't sure what they are allowed to do. I lean up and kiss him, oh, that got his attention. He kisses me back. As our lips part I make a joke about the comfortable mansion beds and what a shame it would be to not enjoy them now, in case our house gets evicted from the table. He kisses me back and I pull him towards the bed.

Spider silk sheets, not even a celestial could have as soft as touch as the sheets do. Then beneath them a warm woolen blanket. Truly, I enjoy these beds a lot, I remember when I slept on a rough woolen cot that would scratch my back. Now I sleep better than Cordorians nobles. And what made it even better? Sharing.

As the cycle wears on and the candles have burned low I stare at the drow that has me wrapped in his arms. Black skin, a muscled formed adorned by a head of white hair. Truly the drow a magnificent race...

I've come a long way from the subdued slave and confused girl that started down here. I've survived, what's more I've thrived.

I let sleep pull me away into it's sweet abyss. Warm beneath the covers and in the contact of the companion holding me in his arms. I'm at peace.

Maybe that's what we both sought? A cycles worth of solace where the troubles of the outside world mattered naught.

He smells nice... I fall asleep.
*Didn't just do that* As an arrow flies hitting someone in the face.

FrozenSolid
Posts: 423
Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2017 4:02 am

Re: A Howl In The Wind.

Post by FrozenSolid » Sun Feb 04, 2018 5:08 am

The End Of An Era
There was a time I had the world in my control, eating out my palm
Every battle, every cycle I was clinging tight
And now I'm getting clowned and frowned on
But the only one who's looking down on me that matters now's betrayed
Am I lucky to be around this long?

As yesterday fades and the Barrith home is burnt to the ground
And all that's left of my house is lawn...
The crowds are gone...

And it's time to wash out the blood
slaves they flee, the curtains drawn
They're closing the set, I'm still poking my head out from behind
And everyone who has doubt, remind
Now make your best effort, outdo it, now do it a thousand times!
Now let 'em tell ya the world no longer cares or gives a vith about your time!

And as I grow outta sight, outta mind, I might go outta mine
'Cause how do I, ever let this house go without a fight?
When I made a vithing tightrope outta twine?
But when I do fall from these heights, though, I'll be fine
I won't pout or cry or spiral down or whine

But I'll decide if it's my final bow this time around 'cause
I'm just a human, but as long as I've got my sword I'm godlike
So me and you are not alike!


I'm standing in the halls of the Barrith house. Weakness... I feel like what remains of our once noble house is not more then a rotted corpse. The buzzards and other birds of prey spiral above our heads, their eyes, beady, ugly, greedy they do not care for the sacred nature of what once was, it's nothing to them.

But isn't that the cycle of the Underdark? The strong survive and the weak fade and pass away. But what is weakness? To be betrayed by your own kin and attacked when trust is garnered Or perhaps it was ever trusting in the first place that was weakness. Are the drow as glorious a race as I believed? Or are they doomed to slash at each others heels, eternally caught in a limbo, a useless and endless cycle of trying to be king, king of what? King of corpses? King of betrayed friends? Wear the crown but you wear it alone with no servants and no love waiting for the next upstart to strike you down, or perhaps in the struggle both will be taken down blood for blood. Such is the way of things it seems.

I feel lost now, the Barrith's were... Are my life, I've devoted everything to their success but I can only push so much, my blade and words can only go so far. I'm a human, but amongst the first house I was made a sister, a drowses no, but united in blood with the matron. That is a bond I will never denounce nor break.

Sitting down I look at the door. I am alone, there is still time before the official exile takes place but no retainer wishes to linger around a dying house. Surely some will loot the mansion, some will remain loyal and travel with the matron and others will quietly fall back into the fold of Anudorian commoners, one day serving the most prestigious house of the Underdark and the next living in some corner house simply watching the cycles go by.

What will I do now? I don't know.

It's the curse of the standard.
That the first of the houses of the Devils Table
Always in search of a way to make things stable
But was this step just another misstep?
To tarnish whatever the legacy, love or respect. Its garnered,
The House has to be perfect, their power flawless
And it always feels like you're hitting the mark
’til you return to the halls and listen, and pick it apart
the gods have given all this
Still you feel no different regardless
If only they knew, it's a facade and it’s exhaustive
And you try to not listen to nonsense
But if you wretches are trying to strip them of their confidence
Mission accomplished.

Another cycle. Another house. Another struggle.

(italicized lyrics modified from the song "Walk On Water" by Eminem!)
*Didn't just do that* As an arrow flies hitting someone in the face.

FrozenSolid
Posts: 423
Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2017 4:02 am

Re: A Howl In The Wind.

Post by FrozenSolid » Mon Feb 05, 2018 2:26 pm

"How could she ask that of me!" I think while standing before the drow matron. I've been networking, long before the Barrith's position became unsteady I was seeking to understand the other drow houses and trying to earn favor with them. In part for myself, but also for my house. I've come to realize my service to La'laskra is broader then just serving one house, if the drow are going to be unified it will require all of the houses.

But can I give up this? I stare at the matron, it's sort of rude but I can't help it. My throat feels like I just swallowed a rock, my stomach churns. I'm trying not to look weak but even the suggestion of such a sacrifice makes me feel light headed. In order to serve her house. She wants to collar me.

I stand there paralyzed by the thought while the matron continues to look at me. Cold, icy neutrality, I can't read her. She mentions the importance of free humans, but that such could not be the case for me if I wished to serve.

"You'll always be slave to the drow, no matter what you do." The thought creeps into my head. It hurts. But did I expect compassion and understanding from this race? No. It's all about power and control the drow always come first. I know this. Then why does it hurt?

I feel my head lower, I can't look at the matron. A pang of longing runs through me, I wish I was with the Barrith's, my sisters, but some of them have already left and those that remain are most often not in the best of moods. The ending of an entire house is a big deal, even more so for the drow who had the status of noble.

It makes me think about war. We could have declined any of this and turned Andunor into a battleground and ruthelessly carved our way through our enemies until their blood ran red through the streets. But that would have cost us too. More so, war would have fractured all of Andunor, we'd be weaker then ever and even if we were victorius too much of the city would be dead. The Barrith Matron surely took the high road. Though I know for her more then anyone the choice was not easy.

I take a long, steadying breath. My throat is still tight but at least I can speak. I look up at the matron "I can't do that." I say. It's difficult, but my freedom is important. I need to value myself otherwise i'll be lost. I gave up too much to get that collar off. I became someone.... something enitrely different in my quest to remove it! I am a sister to the drow even though my skin isn't dark I deserve to be treated better then a dog.

"Think about it."
the matron's voice says. I just sigh. Part of me still feel compelled to give in. But what is my life? An endless sacrifice to show how loyal I am? I am loyal. It's proven. And I need not cut myself any deeper to show it.

I depart after awhile. I will think about it, but my heart already knows the answer.
*Didn't just do that* As an arrow flies hitting someone in the face.

FrozenSolid
Posts: 423
Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2017 4:02 am

Re: A Howl In The Wind.

Post by FrozenSolid » Wed Feb 07, 2018 2:59 am

What am I doing here? It was a snap shot choice, I didn't think it through, I just wanted to talk to someone. My friend, no... more than that... Someone I love. They left me without a word. It cut me deep considering how much I sacrificed to please her, to be with her. Now I face the prospect of being recollared... I can't take it.

So I turned to the last person that genuinely cares about me. Quentin.

I'm looking the paladin in the eye, I told him I would try. To repent. I don't know why he offers this to me. I've tried to kill him, twice, yet here I am, in his arms. We move into the chapel and I'm taken away by it's beauty. It's... Gorgeous, the beauty only twists in my heart and makes me feel hateful. While I was trying not to rot in fetid waters in a slave pit Quentin and the paladin's slept like kings. These are the saviours of our people?

Meeting the paladin's each makes my stomach churn, the first idiot I see is wearing big poofy pants, his moustache is pristine and he is in bright colors. In comparison, I have a band of wicked green cloth around my chest for support and modesty, each evil infernal rune can be seen running down my upper body then flowing into my own dark red custom tatoos. I'm wearing some shorts, a belt, and knee high boots showing off my bare tatood thighs.

I am everything a paladin would hate. If this poofy pants paladin has a son, and he brought me home as his lady friend, his father would probably disown him.

Yet I am walking behind Quentin, perhaps one of the more prestigious paladins. He brought me to his home.

As we enter more of the paladin's emerge, I recongize a few of them and lean over to murmur to Quentin " See that one over there?" I say quietly. " I may or may not have tried to kill him. I also may or may not have tried to hold him hostage." The paladin I indicated is surprised to see me. Quentin just seems amused.

The night is long and awkward, I don't feel... At home here. Amongst these 'righteous' warriors. More then a few try to lecture me but what do they know? Have they ever looked into the eyes of a slave that has given up hope? Have they ever watched someone's will get broken? Seen a soul torn from a body leaving only a husk? Had to fend off greedy slaves?

Did a paladin ever have to murder to survive?

When one of these saints gets a stain on their white robes of purity.

When they know what it is to be dirty.

Then they can lecture me. Then I will listen.

These paladin's are so high and mighty, when I ask them what they would do if they ever got into a bad situation it's always

"Haha I'll never been in a situation like that. Because I can kill any evil doer!"

But what about those of us who are not as strong? We're left to fall into the dirt. Then get lectures by those who are 'clean'.

I hate it.
It makes me sick.
I miss my sisters.
*Didn't just do that* As an arrow flies hitting someone in the face.

FrozenSolid
Posts: 423
Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2017 4:02 am

Re: A Howl In The Wind.

Post by FrozenSolid » Thu Feb 08, 2018 4:02 am

I want to do it but I can't. If I did, it wouldn't be true because some part of me still believes it. The light is a lie, it's so bright it blinds you and you live in eternal ignorance. Quentin wants me to destroy a statue I made him. It was an image of him, with a plaque that has a poem.

I tried, I've thought about it... But I can't, I won't. I sheath my blade and slam my fist into the statue. The sting was pleasing to me, the skin on my fingers broken open and I left a small stain of blood. The pain was a welcome relief from the thoughts of light and dark trying to strangle each other in my mind.

I walk away and leave Quentin. He calls after me but I don't want to look at him.

I don't think he understands where I am at? Am I a monster? Yes. I became what I had to, to survive. I remember why I tried to kill him. If it wasn't for him I wouldn't be confused, I wouldn't question it. But he cares about me. Why? It frustrates me.

I told him how I was feeling, that I just wanted him to give up on me. He told me he wouldn't... But what if I made him give up? Nehala is vulnerable because of her love. I could take them both out, test Nehala, to see if she stays in the light or plunges into darkness to save her beloved. And Quentin? Would he forgive me again?

Why am I thinking like this? These people want to help me.
But I hate them.
Why?
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FrozenSolid
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Re: A Howl In The Wind.

Post by FrozenSolid » Wed Feb 14, 2018 11:14 am

Everywhere I look there is beauty. Flowers spring up from carefully planted gardens bringing bright colors to the lush green grass. Nearby a river runs and dribbles down as a waterfall creating a calming ambient noise. It's dusk, the air is warm and the bird still chirp quietly.

I'm sitting on a wooden bench beneath an oak tree listening to the gentle rustle of leaves as a warm breeze blows by kissing my skin as it goes. I've spent days like this, doing nothing but sitting, existing.

The only thing that ruins the beauty here is me. My Dark tattooed skin, maybe I'm exotic? I curl up on my bench leaning against the tree letting loose a sigh. My heart. Do I belong in this heaven on Earth? Everywhere I look nestled amongst the gardens are pillars telling me about Courage! Virtue! Honor! Compassion! They just make me roll my eyes.

Paladin's are such saps.

I'm here because I feel like I owe Quentin. He has given up so much for me. Been a friend no matter what... I have ten years until my sister return. He wants me to stay, and I don't want to hurt him again. If I do, I will truly be gone. He has given me loyalty, and I want to return what I can.

Something else is bothering my mind... One of the paladin's said there is a way to remove my infernal markings. It's painful, given how extensive my tattooing is? It will be torture... And the irony? Quentin may be the only paladin strong enough to do what has to be done.

I guess if I have to be tortured it might as well be by a friend.

Why is life like this?
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FrozenSolid
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Re: A Howl In The Wind.

Post by FrozenSolid » Thu Feb 15, 2018 8:41 am

Why are you striving these days?
Why are you trying to earn grace?
Why are you crying?
Let me lift up your face, just don't turn away...

Why are you looking for love?
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough?
To where will you go?
Tell me where will you run, to where will you run?

'cause I'll be by your side wherever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
And please don't fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
I release the stupid paladin's cloak with a huff of angry air. Quentin doesn't understand me. Or maybe he does? More then I want him to. Why is he so vithing logical? His words are like soft punches sent to disable me. Why can he do this to me?

I swing at him with my plated fist.

THUNK!

Quentin raises his shield just in time.

I'm half glad he blocked it, he didn't have his helmet on, I probably would have broke his face. The other half of me really wanted to hurt him... I consider swinging again but decide that was enough. I stalk off.

"Great talking to you as always Ellie!" Quentin shouts with complete sarcasm as I get down the ramp out of his sight. His words make me pause. Did he just take a verbal jab at me? I totally deserved it but my brain is racing for something to shout back. I'm angry and I'm not thinking.

Quentin told me earlier if I insulted his girlfriend that'd be a step to far. So naturally I cross that line.

"Your girlfriend looks like a pig!" I shout back. What the hell does that have to do with anything? Absolutely nothing. I'm just trying to hurt him. She's actually kind of pretty. Am I jealous? NO I AM NOT.

We don't talk for a few days after that...

The next time we meet I felt bad about what I said so I sent a hin asking him to meet me... He showed up like I figured he would and who did he have with him? His girlfriend.

"What did you call her again Ellie?" He asks

"Uhh... Nothing in particular." I reply

I end up having to tell her that I called her a pig. I say such somewhat mercilessly I mean, I've had to do worse, but it was still embarrassing... Really the plan was only to apologise to Quentin...

He ends up hugging me after they both accept my apologies. Normally all this dumb talking and feelings would be a huge turn off... But something about being wrapped in Quentin's arms makes it worth it.

Maybe within a month I'll weave myself a crown of flowers and dance through the rolling green Meadows as deer and birds flock to me and I kiss their heads.

Or I'll keep scowling and doing what I can to make holy paladin's uncomfortable.
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Re: A Howl In The Wind.

Post by FrozenSolid » Sun Feb 18, 2018 9:06 am

"Do you think dying for your friends is honorable?" I ask Quentin.

I already know his answer. My head is swimming, I'm evil. How do I know? I'm conscious of the part of my heart that /wants/ to do evil. I want Quentin to hate me, I want to hurt him, I want to see him fail. I know what he cares about, it'd be so easy for me to break him. I feel like a monster, my prey is within my grasp, it'd be so easy to grab hold of it and crush it.

So many times Quentin has let his guard down around me. I've considered his death, the death of his loved ones. I could destroy this light that keeps burning its way through my soul. I could end him. But what stops me? Why does it stop me, what holds me back? I don't know.

There is one thing I can do. One thing I know will hurt him, and one thing that would finally bring me peace. It would solve all my problems at once.

While I'm thinking this we're sailing, I stare at the waves. I can jump, in my full plate I will sink fast, I've heard drowning is the best way to die, it'd be a lot less painful then some of the other encounters I've been through.

My plated boot drifts over the edge of the boat while I talk to Quentin. This is it. If I drown I'll never hurt him. I'll never have to see him be disappointed in me. I want him to hate me, and I want him to love me all at once. I want to hurt him, and I want to protect him. When I do this, I'll be hurting him. But I'll also protect him. Protect him from myself.

I feel myself start to fall as my boot slips over the edge. Yes, please, I can already taste the sweet release of death. My eyes close...

Suddenly there is a clattering of sword and shield, Quentin lunges towards me and grabs my wrist. He yanks me hard and I fall against him with a thud. He holds me in his arms. He won't quit on me and he won't let me quit on myself.

I sob. Why is this so hard?
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FrozenSolid
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Re: A Howl In The Wind.

Post by FrozenSolid » Wed Feb 21, 2018 2:37 am

"You won't betray me" he says to me. We're standing close, like always when I flounder he pulls me in tight. When I can't stand he stands for me.

"I've already betrayed you." I murmur back, barely audible. My forehead rests against his shoulder, I don't want to look at him. "I warned the drow when an ambush was being set up. Quentin, I can't raise my blade against them. I can't let them come to harm when I'm cappable of stopping it." I explain in the same weak voice.

He is angry with me, I feel his hands tighten against my arms. But he relaxes eventually, even with this he won't quit on me. His words fade away, I listen to him breathe, I can feel his chest rise and fall as he speaks. It's comforting to me. As I stand in his arms he mentions that given different circumstances we could have been more then friends!

This catches my attention and I shift to look up at him. Had I considered this before? Yes. Of course! Laying on a cot, a steel collar around my throat I dreamed of him saving me like I were some fairytale princess. It never happened, I had to save myself. But he was always there when I needed to speak, and always encouraged me. Was it even practical for him to save me? Probably not.

Is it even still possible for him to love me like that? "No..." I think. I feel like a mangy dog, what am I in comparison to his current lover? And if he did feel that way about me, what would she think? If she killed me I would be deserving.

The idea makes me feel bittersweet. I don't deserve him, I don't even deserve his friendship.

There is one hope, or whatever it is to me. When spring comes if I've Improved enough Quentin hopes to purify me. He can cut my markings away, but if we did it now it would kill me. It will be painful regardless, I am not holy, and his blade will burn me to my core while it cuts the cursed flesh away and condemns me for my sins.

I sigh. We part ways and I go back to the church to sleep alone in my tent.
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Re: A Howl In The Wind.

Post by FrozenSolid » Wed Feb 21, 2018 11:10 am

I squint at the rising sun then avert my eyes. Secretly I always liked the sun despite my time in the dark. I'd take small vacations when I could to the surface, usually the desert, then I'd lay in the sand on a beach and just absorb the sun light into my bare skin.

That's where I am headed today, I'm tired of the cold and I want to feel the sun. Arriving on the desert beach I hop off the boat and jog away from civilization. I come to my usual spot, secluded, and perfect for absorbing the sun.

I strip down and move towards the water edge. Then like a proper lady I flop belly first into the sand. "Ahh..." I can feel the warm grainy sand, the sun on my back.... A small slice of heaven. I bring my arms under my chin and stare out across the water watching the waves lap up against the Sandy Beach.

I remember when I tried to drown myself, I huffed pushing the negative thought away. How long can I exist in a state of self loathing? When will I finally accept that I can have a future without the drow? I can be redeemed.

When will I admit that I was tortured? When will my senses stop fooling me? I was abused by the drow, I am only their sister because they broke me apart and remade me. And even as their 'sister' I am only human. Like humans have dogs, I was their dog. They'd snuggle me and love me but I was still a dog.

Am I free? Or am I still a slave? The darksteel no longer binds my throat but what about my mind? My soul? I groan, for the first time in forever a part of me aches for true freedom. Freedom from the drow, freedom from my markings...

Quentin offers me both.

I shift in the sand and roll onto my back, turning my gaze to the sky.

What about Gray'val? The Matron? They let me go, they let me choose. Maybe because they knew what I would choose. That I had been tamed the fear of me departing was non-existent. But what about when I came back? The kisses I shared with Gray weren't fake.

I sigh and cover my face with my hands... Why is this so confusing? "They hurt you!" My brain yells at me, Quentin's voice is in there somewhere too. "I Know!" I shout out loud at the sky. "I know they hurt me!" I shout again remembering every blow of the hammer that broke my bones, every threat, every cruel task, every embarrassing encounter, the acid shower!

I scream at the sky.

When you are very very sick you get worse, much worse, then your stomach decides it's had enough then it expells it out. It's called vomiting. That's what I feel like my soul is doing now. And the thing about vomiting is that you feel better afterwards.

After screaming I just sigh. I do feel better, a spiritual vomiting.

"Hey Quentin, I spiritually vomited." I imagine myself saying. Somehow I feel like it would make him smile.

Maybe I can try to be happy now? Or maybe I'll get sick again

I don't care. The sun is nice, and my skin feels good. I'm enjoying myself.

I like the surface.
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FrozenSolid
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Re: A Howl In The Wind.

Post by FrozenSolid » Sat Feb 24, 2018 11:49 am

"There's just uh- one more thing... I wanted to ask." I say to Quentin, maybe he senses what I'm asking? He steps nearer saving me the effort. The 'one more thing' has absolutely nothing to do with words, his most recent lover is away, she left! At least for now. Am I being a selfish? Yes... But I've wanted to do this for so long.

It's easy to be bold when you've faced the kinds of challenges I have. I've learned when I want something I have to take it. It won't be handed to me, and i'm not going to wait around and try to court Quentin for half a lifetime hoping maybe it can be more then friendship. As he steps closer, I make my move.

Standing on my toes to bring my lips level with his I tilt my head and lean in quick to kiss him. He seems surprised! I even feel him pull back and my heart instantly begins to sink! Before he goes to far he seems to have a second thought. Suddenly he wraps his arm around me pulling me tighter, he kisses me back and my heart starts to pound against my chest.

Our kiss lasts long enough for me to know it's more then just for fun, it's more then just him being nice. He's the first to pull back, I probably never would have if it were left up to me. I take a breath. Part of me cannot believe I just did that! I spare him a glance, then look down towards the floor, my cheeks a bit red. He seems to be smiling!

Quentin leans in to whisper, his words touch my ears. It has to wait until spring. Until my markings are purged. Until he's sure that I am emotionally stable. I'll admit, the past months on the surface, dancing between evil and good has left me often sour and I've not always been loyal.

But the promise of what this could be fills me with warmth. Like there's something signifnicant to look forward too in the future. I'm excited, my markings will be removed, that... I both long for, and loathe, the process will be incredibly painful. But what's to come after? Love? Affection? A new life...

I just smile like an idiot as the man i've admired for the greater part of my adult life looks at me. I can't wipe it off my face.

"You've always been special" he murmurs

My heart melts.

I think I might cry, but I suck it up!

"I have to go- now." I say after he parts and begins telling me the rest of his plans for the day. Part of me wants to stay and be with him the rest of the day. But another part of me just wants to lay down and think for awhile and take in what just happened. What I just felt.

We say farewells and I hurry away still blushing like mad. The funny part is that we did it in front of an Elite guard. All he got to do was watch while the Chancellor got a kiss. More over, I am fairly certain i've seen this guard before. Last time I was in the goverment building I attempted to take a Queen Canidate hostage! Now I carry an official writ of pardon, so long as I stay the course.

I move quickly down the traders route, I'm still not comfortable sleeping in Cordor. With a reputation like mine? I don't even deserve to walk the streets. So I flee towards Minmir, and the Radiant Heart Church, there I crawl into my tent and flop onto my sleeping bag staring up at the top of the tent.

"Wow." I say outloud to myself. I can still feel how close we were. For all the years i've known Quentin I've never advanced on him romantically. He's always been a friend to me, a very, very exceptional friend who has cradled me in his arms and spared me more mercies then I ever deserved.

A distant part of me aches. A part of me that's vile and evil. A part of me that still wants to serve the drow. I feel like La'laskra is urgings me to 'come back'. My mind fills with the thoughts of the Underdark, yes, I had a few partners down there. But those relationships revolved around lust, Gray'val was genuine, but ... Something is just different with her. She hurt me so badly, I wonder how much of her love is real?

I shove that side of me. I will always feel a connection to the drow, but I am no longer their slave and I will not be weighed down by their opinion of my actions. What I feel for Quentin, it's real and powerful.

I want to be with Quentin. I want to be on the surface, I want to lay on beaches and feel the sun on my skin, hear the birds in the morning and feel the fresh air of spring fill my nose. I want to laugh again, really laugh because i'm happy! Not because I am evil and losing my sanity. I want to be... Good.

But the road to get there is long. And there will be many who try to yank me back.

I consider murmuring a prayer to Lathander, but my throat fills with a lump. La'laskra is sitll my goddess and I can feel her urges coming over me. I close my eyes and focus on my soft lips against Quentin's.

I won't go back. I can't go back. I want this, and I will have it.
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FrozenSolid
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Re: A Howl In The Wind.

Post by FrozenSolid » Mon Feb 26, 2018 4:23 pm

Quentin told me that since I've taken a lives, I have to save lives. It's the only way to redeem me. And I really want to be redeemed, if I go into this ritual come spring and I've not atoned, the holy avenger blade will kill me.

Death is an awfully good motivator, it's ironic that it motivated me once to be the best slave that I could be . And now it motivates me again. But it's not -just- death. Both times my soul has been in jeopardy. My masters didn't play around when they collared me, it was serve or get eaten physically by a demon, then have your soul eaten too.

There's other motivators too, of course. That first kiss I shared with Quentin? The idea of genuine friendship... A life where I don't need to plot and squirm and twist... Slowly I feel like the darkness is leaving my head. I'm not as bitter as I use to be, my mind isn't as ... Broken? I have good thoughts, and I'm no longer utterly disgusted by the presence of good people.

It's taken a lot to get here. I've nearly killed myself a few times, I've said some terrible things and thrown some punches. I am just lucky I am surrounded by people that care for me. If I wasn't, i'd already be gone.

But for life saving, Quentin has pointed me in the direction of a slave. I, better then most, know how to remove collars. I've done it myself and I can guide another slave through doing it again. So I did it, I packed my things and prepared to dive head first in the world I left behind to risk navigating the streets to free a slave I knew nothing about.

She actually turned out to be a pretty alright companion. She forgot her name, so she calls herself Lady. She's sharp, I thought I might find some dull headed slave, but she is anything but. She's keen, more then she gives herself credit for. Can she fight? No. I don't even think she can throw a rock. But that's alright, I am good enough at killing for a small army.

The way we got her free was unusual. We didn't even have to go through the hoops of the slaves guild. A Jaluk, a male drow gave us all the gold we needed. We didn't fool him with our story, it was a happening of some very, very fortunate luck.

He's ellistraen, or at least, I think he is.

I remember when my clamp fell off, my entire life changed. Seeing Lady come back clamp free had a similar effect on me. I didn't cry, or rush over and hug her, I just watched and part of me just... Felt good. I did something good for once, I took a risk to do something good.

Now, as I stand beside Quentin, a thought has entered my head. I've gotten some pats on the shoulder, good jobs and what not, this has gone a long way to helping me redeem myself. But there's something else I think I want, so I nudge Quentin.

"Sooo..." I begin to say. "May I redeem good deeds for kisses?" I ask with a smile

Quentin seems to smirk as I watch him, he doesn't quite say yes, and I pout a bit but decide the first kiss was good enough anyways. We keep talking, and talking, there's a lot of people around. It's nice. I don't have much to say, but I like being around people that are happy.Once everyone leaves Quentin takes me by the arm and pulls me around a corner.

I'm a bit surprised, did I do something wrong? He gives me a gentle push, my backpack thumps against the wall as he holds me there, I look up at him my eyebrows raising.

He leans in close and murmurs then, he kisses me! It's a nice kiss, his lips touch mine- I'm surprised, but then I remember that I like this. I'm grinning like an idiot again, we kiss, he leads it and it lasts just the right amount of time before he pulls back. As he withdraws I find myself staring at him, I take a shaky breath and keep grinning.

He looks amused and lets me go, we walk out of the city together, he has more chancellor business to attend to.

I walk alone then, my adamantine boots clicking against the rocky road leading towards the Arcane Tower, and then later Minmir. I could get use to this life. I really, really could.

I reach my tent and slide inside going about my normal nightly rituals. Once prepared for bed I flop down onto my sleeping mat and snuggle beneath the thick blankets.

I breathe in.

And out.

I feel good.
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FrozenSolid
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Re: A Howl In The Wind.

Post by FrozenSolid » Tue Mar 06, 2018 9:52 am

Things have been... Normal for me, at least, semi normal. It's been weeks since I've killed anything, even a goblin, I usually just idle around Cordor and sneak away into a tavern once the traffic dies down. It's nice I guess, nice to take a step away from the violence, the worry, troubles. All of this is important to me, because it's more then just relaxing for me. It's... Getting back to normal, clearing the darkness out of my head. I feel... Good. I feel... Happy. And not in a sick and twisted way.

I've made friends, believe it or not! I don't hide my past, part of me is proud of it in a way. I was a slave, and then I became something more, something much more. It was dark and sinister, sure. But I survived where most others fail. How many humans still rot in those forsaken slave pits? How many more will be quelled will be crushed beneath the boots of monsters? Devoured? Destroyed? Many, but not me. So I tell those I meet who I am, for those at least who do not already know it.

I've not mended all the relationships I wounded when I began. But I don't expect them to be mended, in fact, I go into this not expecting sympathy or grace from anyone. I am lucky that so many are willing to overlook my past in favor of my present actions. Some hold onto the past, even I do. I don't blame them.

If they want to hate me, then I welcome it. If I was in their shoes I would hate me too. I don't badger them that 'I'm really a good person!' because I'm not. At least, not all the way. I don't strive for their acceptance either. I'm here! And if they don't like that? Well, it's their right to not like it and I usually leave if I'm asked.

Sometimes I still feel out of place. I think Quentin can sense these moments, when I look lost, or just alone. He always ropes me in, encourages me, and pushes me to meet new people. I've gained some great friends because of this. Taelina is one of them, she's nice and I feel a connection with her. I look forward to getting to know these people better.

I know most of the guard, they're alright. Some of them are annoying, but most of them are friendly enough. We've spent hours bantering back and forth it just feels good! No one is plotting against one another, or trying to kill eachother. It's nice.

There is one thing that worries me. For all the smiles and good times there are terrible, terrible enemies that lurk beneath our boots. The guard had a massive free for all in the arena, Nehala and I secretly teamed up and we decimated the ranks. It took me seconds to dispatch most of them, feinting with my blade then hammering home abilities that I have perfected in the depths of the Underdark.

Nehala is the only saving grace, if everyone dies just so that she may have a chance to fight they might win the day.

But at what cost?

These surfacers are soft. They're weak, i'm just a girl, not a tiefling, not a drow, I have no special powers beyond the skills i've trained myself. And I cut them down like reeds in a river. How will they fair against a small army of those who have trained like me?

I try not to think about it. But they need to get better. All this smiling and fun is useless if we all end up dead or collared.

I wish they understood how dire the threat is. I wish they knew what evil was.
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FrozenSolid
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Re: A Howl In The Wind.

Post by FrozenSolid » Wed Mar 07, 2018 11:16 am

A Duel With Nehala
Most the guard and a few outsiders including myself came together for a spontaneous free for all in the arena within Cordor. While everyone was warding Nehala shuffled through the sand towards me and asked if I wanted to team up. I almost said no, out of everyone here we were the only my two I knew of that are cut from the same steel. But the prospect of beating up a bunch of soft surfacers was too appealing and I honestly wanted to enjoy the looks on their faces when they realized what I could do. The kind of strength the Underdark forges.

Between Nehala and I we wiped the floor with them all, coating the sands of the arena with grumbling and groaning bodies. With Nehala and I the only ones standing I turn to face her

...

I focus in on Nehala, my chest is heaving and the residue of magic and dust hangs thick in the air leaving the sandy arena cloudy and distorted. She's a ball of glowing wards and so am I. We just stare at each other for a moment.

I've started to warm up to Nehala, but she always pestered me that I will never stand a chance against her in combat. We've never officially crossed blades, but I ended up in her custody at least twice while performing duties for the First House. Part of me is still angry at her, she's so arrogant, but as I've gotten to know her I think we're both a lot more alike than either of us might admit.

She's a tiefling, I know what she feels, I'm not a devil blood but I know what evil is I think that's something we both share. An affinity for darkness. So I harness whatever anger I hold towards her and raise my blade. The message is clearly communicated, she readies herself in response.

I suck in a breath and take off towards her, my plate rattles and bounces as I move, my pack thumping against my back as I charge forward. Closing the gap I am feet away from her then I raise my shield at the last moment before impact, both our shields make contact!

CLANG!

I grunt, hitting her is like hitting a brick wall. I'm strong, but I'm lean, I don't have the strength or body mass a male might have. I rely on agility to compensate. The problem is that Nehala is as as strong as several men, and just as fast and lean as I am. Is she even sweating?

She's pushing me back and tries to shove me over but I hold my ground and lunge at her side with my blade. I hear a clatter of metal and feel the tremor in my hand as she parries me. Trying to stay on the offensive I jerk my shield from hers using her temporary surprise to strike at her!

I get her to back up, a step bringing my blade to crack against her wards, a hit! I can do this! I position myself for the next attack but find Nehala is already a move ahead of me. I see her scimitar snake out with amazing speed, I block it with my own blade then try to lunge again but discover Nehala's blade recovered faster from the parry than I thought. Her blade slams into me with sickening power.

ACK!

It's a devastating hit that threatens to knock the wind out of my lungs but my wards absorb the worst of it. I'm reeling barely managing to raise my shield to block her next blow. Her scimitar slams against my shield with a loud clang. My arm buckles as I let out a gasp.

"Damn!" I mutter as the dust swirls around us. I'm struggling, but I can't give up! I won't let this arrogant half blood beat me! My anger amplified I draw my shield in close then launch myself towards Nehala. The distance is short and she meets me head on again like slamming into a brick wall. I'm ready for this and as our shields smash together my blade is already whipping towards her.

I feel the blade bite into her stone flesh her wards straining from my blow. As I get my hit I'm watching Nehala's body, once again she tries to overpower me and push me into the sand. I let out a cry but manage to resist her! As I focus on not falling over like an oaf her blade materializes out from behind her shield and bites me. I let out a cry of pain feeling my shield arm suddenly wanting to give up.

Desperation replaces tactics as I swing at her managing a hit but it seems too easy. She calculated it, she knew she could take it. My desperate attack leaves me vulnerable. The opening allows her blade to slam into me again.

Taking yet another hit I abandon any form and poise. I'm barely hanging on but I won't quit! I resort to slashing at her wildly while desperately trying to block her counter attacks. My heart feels like it might explode! I'm sweating like mad beneath my helmet, my muscles ache, I start to use my shield as a weapon out of sheer desperation anything to win!

In my frenzy I notice her body twitch, she exposes herself and I instantly lunge for the opening assuming she made a mistake. As I lunge, I imagine her falling into the sand. Victory in front of all of her guards will be sweet! My blade nearly makes contact with her when suddenly I hear a crunch of armour then feel a sharp pang run through my sword arm!

She struck me! It was a feint! I fall to a knee while gasping in pain. Entirely vulnerable she's finishes me off. The flat of her blade slams into my helmet, the clang is deafening! My head snaps backwards and I land in the sand, an eruption of dust rising from where I fall.

I lay there panting, my body aches and I have sweat in my eyes. My wards have faded and I feel angry. I see the tiefling loom over me through my sweat stinging eyes. Ohhhh how I HATE her! She's probably going to gloat! My mind races with angry thoughts as my blood boils and then...?

Nehala’s hand extends towards me offering to help me up. I stare at her outstretched hand for a minute. Slowly, my hate drains away like rain water down a gutter. Her small act of kindness defeats all the heated feelings inside of me.

Strong as ever she pulls me out of the sand she just pummeled me into. "Thanks" I say. I feel like we bonded somehow. Sure it would have been A LOT nicer If I was the one picking her up out of the sand... But I'm not going to be bitter, she's been kind to me, and I don't deserve anyone's kindness.

I let out a breath of air, most everyone's pulled themselves out of the sands by now and seem eager to duel again. I smirk and move to the sidelines, I won't get involved a second time, for their sakes of course.

Except for Saethe, I'm totally 'tripping' him with my sword again...
*Didn't just do that* As an arrow flies hitting someone in the face.

FrozenSolid
Posts: 423
Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2017 4:02 am

Re: A Howl In The Wind.

Post by FrozenSolid » Sun Apr 01, 2018 9:49 am

I came back to Andunor recently to see what has become of a city that shaped me and the masters that made me who I am. I've found that I grow weary of the surface, I am sick of the same attitudes and as always it hammers away at my skull and makes me tired and unhappy. Quentin has always been agreeable, but now that I think on it he is one of the only ones I ever cared about. All of this attempt to change was for him but the problem with confronting ones inner self is that at some point you understand who you are. And I am not the child of light Quentin desires me to be.

But that is not what I am thinking about right now. For as I stand beneath the old Barrith Mansion examining the head of the former Matron who betrayed my house now dead, for justice has come full circle, I am approached by Ezra himself.

I dance a brief dance with the Sultan of the sharps. All at once I find myself swaying to his musical rhythm oh the lies that drip from his mouth. I tried to lead the dance but at each shove of my own I was pushed back into place, forced to sway and move along as the Sultan desired. I know what I speak is the truth, but here the truth does not matter, the truth does not change the music and the dance of words continues.

Left and right my feet are forced to follow his movements but I am blunt and simply stop dancing he pauses, but the glare of his blinded followers suggest I dance or die so I dance once more. He knows I see him for what he is. I appreciate this moment in our verbal dance when we both recognize the other is not being fooled. It is genuine. I am not another bloke he will deceive and he recognizes that. His words are sweet and coated in honey but I know what lies beneath them. I see the dagger hidden beneath his verbal cloak of deception.

I know you Sultan of the Sharps. I know the game you play and I know the web of lies you have crafted. I know what holds up your pillar of lies and I know where it is weak. I know the truth, and that is a dangerous thing! But The Sultan is no fool. As our dance ends I am well aware if I linger I will die. This wolf leads a pack of blind sheep. So ignorant his poor sheep, they think they are free, they think they are strong and bold, but they are nothing but servants to his twisted schemes. So effectively he has played the people of Andunor that they believe -they- have power.

I fear the man that can deceive followers of Lolth. I fear the man that reins in the drow like cattle. I hate him for what he has done to the proud race I love but I have no choice but to accept it. Ezra's tactic amuses me, the drow drive their dagger through their own heart, he is killing them and they do not even know it. But the drow betrayed the last -true- drow house in favor of a house of heretics that has fallen to ruin as I predicted. This doom is of their own making.

Such foolish drow do not deserve my loyalty, these are not the drow I pledged my life to.

I depart briskly from the Underdark, anyone with two eyes and a brain is not welcome, especially if they speak their mind and the truth. Such things are a threat to man like Ezra and he is not subtle about acknowledging it. As I depart, I receive a missive that Ezra has placed a bounty upon my head.

I smirk. I expected nothing less.

Everyone I spoke to will call me a fool. Ezra has done so much for Andunor after all! And he really cares! That's what they tell me. Are they daft?

Have any of these fools ever considered that perhaps the devout follower of the god known as 'the prince of lies' was perhaps lying to them? Such wisdoms is lost on the thick skulled Drow who have only a mind of betrayal and personal gain. The other races are too pathetic to stand on their own feet. Maybe someday the Sultan will trip and impale himself and die, or he will fall off a cliff by mistake. But I do not suspect his reign will come to an end any time soon. His followers are too brainwashed to listen, and anyone who -does- listen ends up dead.

Andunor is lost and all my warnings leading up to this point fell upon deaf ears. It is far to late to oppose Ezra.
*Didn't just do that* As an arrow flies hitting someone in the face.

FrozenSolid
Posts: 423
Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2017 4:02 am

Re: A Howl In The Wind.

Post by FrozenSolid » Mon Apr 02, 2018 10:01 pm

"Quentin, I can't be what you want me to be. I'm not-" My words are cut short as he grabs me around my waist and pulls me into a kiss.

Here I was thinking I had gotten over him. That my heart was -truly- set with the drow. That I was prepared to sacrifice everything in an attempt to restore what I believe is a noble race. To prepare for the return of the Barriths and await their attentions. But... He has yanked me back once more. All of these thoughts are running through my head as he kisses me. It's a passionate kiss none of this toying around like before. He murmurs something to me, and I can't help but turn a bit red in the cheeks... I thought maybe he didn't feel the same way I did, so I had been working on moving on but he does, and then some.

It's much later in the night now, after a great deal of talking I find myself wrapped in his arms staring up at the ceiling. I use to sleep in a tent just outside the church I suppose I moved on from being the lost puppy waiting outside some ones door to being allowed into the house. It's a silly analogy, but fitting I suppose. Quentin told me that he wants me- no... More than that, that I am -his- and he is mine. I feel like this was one of the last barriers keeping us apart just saying it- deciding at-last we were united.

I know however, that before me there is one other love and that is his commitment to Lathander. But I am alright with that, if it wasn't for Lathander's teachings he would have slain me long ago and been done with me. He's put up with a lot from me, we were enemies once, at least I was to him. I betrayed him, and now we're sharing the same room. Some dark side of me tells me -this is my chance. I have Quentin at his most vulnerable he trusts me to lay with him. I could kill him and return to the depths to struggle against the Cyrists and the lazy drow and prepare for my Sisters, the Barriths, return.

I push those thoughts away. Quentin made a commitment to me and I want to honor that. I feel like I've truly surrendered to him and I don't need to fight anymore. It helps me relax to think like that, I don't need to fight his ideologies, I don't need to resist his influence. He is good for me, I don't deserve him but I have him. I don't need to fight this. For once, I don't need to fight.

I feel some tears pool up around my eyes as I tighten my grip around one of his arms holding onto me. I sniffle to myself, gazing off into the distance where a lone brazier dimly illuminates the cozy Paladin's cave.

What comes next?

Quentin isn't going to retire, this commitment to Lathander he has, as he explained to me, will drive him until his last breath. I suppose I can agree with that, I do not believe I am one to retire and become some farmers wife. So then we combat evil? Spread Lathander's forgiveness and light? But what about La'laskra? She is still my goddess and I feel my heart stir for I am not doing what she desires of me.

I am no paladin, but it was with blood I surrendered to La'laskra and gave up Bane for her. Knelt before her altar with her high priestess, my matron, I committed myself to her. Strength in pain. She has beckoned me to Andunor, to restore her people, the drow or at least, do what I can. But I have denied her and I feel her favor within me begin to plummet. How long can I ignore her before she strikes me or abandons me? I avoid opening my mind in prayer to her and I feel Quentin shift beside me. The warmth of his body pulls me back to myself and distances me further form La'laskra. Wrapped in his arms I have nothing to fear.

I do not know what the future will hold for us. Perhaps we'll both meet terrible ends, perhaps I'll be captured and tortured by our enemies and sent to Quentin dead to drive him mad. Perhaps death is right around the corner and perhaps when I close my eyes a thousand demons will pour into our bedroom through some portal.

Or perhaps it will all be okay. Perhaps I'll wake up in his arms and we'll enjoy life together for as long as it is possible. Maybe some cruel fate awaits us, but perhaps I convert to Lathander... And perhaps- in the end, I find him once more in that golden domain Lathander calls all of his followers home to.

My eyes shut. I'm exhausted. But I feel at home.

My terrible infernal markings glow a gentle but sinister red as I fall asleep. I know the magics of them protest this relationship with Quentin. Maybe they are part of what drives me away from him time to time and fills my head with these thoughts of betrayal and abandonment. I've dealt with them for over a decade, it may be that I have at last mastered them or at least subdued their effect on me. It may also be where I am, in this temple, and who I am with that disrupts their power... I don't care, they can glow all they want, it will not make me change.

With my eyes shut I shut off my mind. Without any thoughts to confuse me or make me afraid sleep claims me. Bliss at last.
*Didn't just do that* As an arrow flies hitting someone in the face.

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