Aqarev's Reflections [Closured]

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Aqarev's Reflections [Closured]

Post by Tomato » Thu Sep 13, 2018 4:15 pm

Aqarev wrote:The Sun is a pleasant, oft forgotten pleasure.
When its rays are gentle it weakens a man such as myself. I want nothing but to remove my thick armor and heavy gambeson and lay naked in sand as the simplest kobold.

This sand would be coarse, ideally, and hotter than the sun. Almost scalding when I lay atop it and rub it on my skin, to remove pesky dirt and the dried lifeblood of my enemies, I would relax, and be at peace.
Last edited by Tomato on Thu Nov 15, 2018 10:48 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Re: Aqarev's Reflections

Post by Tomato » Thu Sep 13, 2018 4:37 pm

Aqarev wrote:A great measure of a man is the manner with which he hosts.
Accomodating another is a graceful art, requiring constant vigilance of The Guests' state of mind.
A hosts attentiveness must be subtle or those who take the time to come and share pleasant experiences together would be made to feel self concious.

The comfort of the Guest must take precedence long as they are within the host's home. A good home must be kept tidy and clean or it would leave a crude image, showing the hosts lack of concern for those familiar enough to receive an invitation to enter such an intimate place.

Food must always be at hand, I have found cold meats and fresh fruits along with a choice of water, coffee or a fine spirits would appease most. If a Guest leaves unsatisfied, special preparations must be made to perfect the next visit.

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Re: Aqarev's Reflections

Post by Tomato » Fri Sep 14, 2018 11:22 am

Aqarev wrote: It is proper to cruch one's enemy completely and utterly.
A man who has killed his enemies does not need to consider if he would ever forgive them. It is much wiser to annihilate an enemy than keep him alive, so he would consolidate his powers and seek to strike out once more.

If one shows such mercy, he gives his enemies options. Negotiation is a poison that will eat away at one's victory. Give them no such charity. Crush them, and that will be that.
It must not be Holy Murder, but banishment would work as well. Weakened, and thrown away, they would pose no risk.

One's enemies want nothing more than your destruction, there is no hope of reconciliation, only a fake humble face to buy more time or enjoy ones strength. They must not be destroyed only in body, but in mind. No mercy given to those who seek harm on you. No love, no honor. No second guesses, and no half measures.
Last edited by Tomato on Sat Sep 15, 2018 9:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Aqarev's Reflections

Post by Tomato » Sat Sep 15, 2018 9:07 pm

Aqarev wrote: Of love.
I find it hard to speak of something so intangible, but I often find myself thinking of it.
The laws of Proper Hosting hold true for loving, but they must be refined if one wishes to enjoy such a luxury. I have found that in the island of Arelith depravity is a disease, many fall prey to foul harems that in the end collapse and occupy one's life with burdensome melodrama as one tries to untangle the web they had spun themselves into.

Thus- a man, or a woman, must be devoted to a single person, and toil to gratify and soothe him above all others. It is proper, it is simple, and it is beautiful. One must look after the one they had chosen and pay only them the many love-begotten attentions which only the lover may provide. Cherish, and be cherished by this another, find what they enjoy and have it at the ready, or study it, if such is an art of pleasure, and you will find happiness.

My own choice is a fickle man prone to dangerous moods. A Strifeleader whose anger I have deeply tasted, but I would not change him. His madness is a Radiance is both sublime and inspiring. His white-hot anger. His unreasonably violent emotions hammer the peaceful nature of my existence to its very core, and inspire me to rise up and be Great.

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Re: Aqarev's Reflections

Post by Tomato » Sun Sep 16, 2018 3:44 pm

Aqarev wrote: Of making love.
Tempting as it may be, one should refrain from overt shows of endearment in public, the use of which is always in bad taste, especially in mature company. The art lies in a steady, unobtrusive command of the self. Moreover, one should avoid idle gossip of one’s lover, and as much as one can, moderation of harsh and unkind words towards them, for when one is close, the stabbing distance grows far closer, and the wounds inflicted deeper.

Instead, if you cannot contain yourself, spread lascivious hints for your beloved, ones only they would understand, ones that will teach perfectly of your intent. Childish as it may sound it is only improper if one gets caught. It is dangerous, but if tastefully executed, very rewarding.

Once, when it was my duty to make love and oil the many folds of skin of the second former mistress, I had made it into art. When the third master told me he wished for me to please this or that business partner, I had liked it. A use of the body that would not usually cause me pain or discomfort. Now I realize that I had taken great but quiet pride in the quality of the services rendered.

But my fourth master, even when he was in this position, he has not forced me to such things regardless of the acts he so hotly lusted for. One does not simply ask permission from a slave. But to a Cyricist, the expression of Self and his freedom is paramount. Supreme. Now it is my firm belief that the act of making love is the highest expression of our humanity, it is the celebration of our love for being alive. And so I have found one must make love vigorously and yet with great patience, until the body can no longer reign in their lust. Only then may one lose control, and by keeping abandonment at bay it will be made all the sweeter.

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Re: Aqarev's Reflections

Post by Tomato » Wed Sep 19, 2018 3:04 pm

Aqarev wrote: Of Drow
Ever since I took on the mantle of service to this man who was once my Fourth Master, I have studied much of this strange culture of coal skinned elves I had been thrust into unwillingly.
Most, I pity, but not because of their lack of emotional capacity, but because of what they do with it. These elves would never rise up to take more than a minor death or two out of the surface lands, because they waste their time with useless inner power struggles, while they should be working together. It’s every drow for himself, and such a community cannot grow.

Even as a slave, I have found this practice of Darksteel collars distasteful in the extreme, putting metal on a man’s neck does not mean one will be loyal or smart about their service, it does not mean they will not run, or even worse, betray their master at the first possible moment for a scrap of food. Service comes from within, from Duty, and Love.

It is a shame, for they are mostly cunning and strong, and have the right sort of drive one needs to advance in life. But to me they seem like a horse with blinders too big, they can only step in one direction and will all eventually drop to a death of their own making.

One of them is far more tragic than most, a high priestess of theirs with innocence and purity radiating so clearly out of those pink eyes I’d adopt her as my own daughter were she not so intent on covering her heart with a leaden seal. I find myself wanting to protect her even while admiring what she is able to become, despite it. I know she will be a great figure one day, but I hope she finds peace within this role she is carving out for herself.

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Re: Aqarev's Reflections

Post by Tomato » Sat Sep 29, 2018 8:27 pm

Aqarev wrote: Loneliness is a heavy weight to bear.

I have faced hunger, in my youth, thirst, poverty. They are aches that leave the stomach empty and one's head light. I feel this impotent loneliness simmering in me, making a fool of me in important moments, like a beggar child trying to snatch little pieces of food from the floor, I cannot help myself. A shameful state for a man. How reprehensible. How unclean. How weak.

They are similar, in a way, to that ravaging state of mind, but far simpler. If one works hard enough, they can find the coin to feed themselves, to wash, to excel in their path. But no amount of work can fix this hunger. Newcomers pass me by, in the Hub, in the Docks of Sencliff, what use is there in speaking to them, in offering them gifts, guidance, time, if they disappear? spending time on Drow is like trying to make a desert into an ocean, one cup at a time.

What use were all my conversations with Naarah, when every time I open my chest of storage the gifts I had made her lie clean and unused, as if to mock me for my foolishness in working so hard for tools that will never be used. I should salvage the admantine from it, but I cannot bring myself to do so. They are fine blades. She would enjoy the irony of this ache, but this is a pain I would rather do without.

I live in the dark, with only small lights to show my path, my Radiance absent in his dark moods and darker violence. I would approach him, if I could, but I am held outside of this fortress filled with his tempest, stripped of my manhood, I hate it.

This is not an emotion I am accustomed to. My friends, my students, those I would invite to chat, smoke and laugh, they are fading.
I remain, bound by my duties and my love. I must swallow this rising bile down like a poisonous frog, and take step after step until this gravelly ground becomes soft sand once more. I must firm my resolve, and straighten my back. I must raise my chin, and square my shoulders. I must move more slowly, and think more quickly. I must not let this loneliness grind me into dust.

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Re: Aqarev's Reflections

Post by Tomato » Tue Oct 02, 2018 12:22 pm

Aqarev wrote: What is pleasure, but a pipe?
Smoking is as much ritual as it is relaxation. There is a certain satisfaction one finds in packing the tobacco into the bowl just right. Then, the whoosh of the match, the second's wait to let the sulfur burn off, then when it falls into the bowl, the scent of the burning leaves.

Doing so in the comfort of one's home, it is an aid to contemplation, a mellower of moods, a soother of the troubled mind and a friend to the common man, when going through the reports from my spies, speaking of our enemies rising, dying, or plotting against us, the papers always soak up the smell of my pipe, as it is always by my side to still my mind and allow me to form my strategies.

One must smoke slowly, and in this motions of a ritual, find peace and introspection, a man must speak much with himself, and little with others, in silence, or with friends, this is good to smoothen the mind and freshen up.

It is all right, if the pipe goes out when smoking, and while it is a careful balance to strike, I find the effort is worth it, for the enhanced flavor of the magnificent bitter leaf.

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Re: Aqarev's Reflections

Post by Tomato » Wed Oct 03, 2018 4:43 am

Aqarev wrote:Of the way and worth of cleaning one's home.
The key to keeping a clean home is to break the job up into smaller daily and weekly tasks. Instead of letting the mess take a hold on one's precious living place.

I find it advisable to spend thirty minutes in the morning and thirty in the evening to maintain a humble home prepared to receive guests or my beloved, who would rush like a wind of Pandemonium through my home and bed.

Mess would not do, dust would not do.
Everything must be in its place, or it would be lost to the daily chaos that permeates one's life.

Every morning
- Make bed.
- Wipe down enchanted washbasin and its immediate area (Droplets turn into stains).
- Put everything in its place.
- Replace old fruits or meat, wipe down table.

Every evening
- Wipe down table.
- Pick large dirt from carpet.
- Put everything in its place.
- Clean all used dishes.
- Clean ash-holder.
- Burn irrelevant reports.
- Throw trash out.

Every week
- Dusting.
- Scrubbing washbasin with lye (A task best given to a skeletal undead as it can work with scalding water).
- Clean mirrors.
- Clean hairbrush and moustache brush.
- Change bed sheets.
- Laundry.
- Put everything in its place.
- Beat sand and dust out of Carpet.
- Wash pillow covers, mend if needed.
- File reports in appropriate boards in other abodes.

Following these routines makes for a presentable abode. I am aware its takes willpower and dedication to make these a habit, but the simplicity of this plan helps make it easier complete.
Some might claim the blood on my altar at home counts as a mess, but I find it proper and good for the house of a servant of the Dark Sun to treasure the blood sacrifices made by guests who saw fit to pray.

(A drawing was made that references this bio, it is this:) Image
Last edited by Tomato on Tue Nov 20, 2018 5:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Aqarev's Reflections

Post by Tomato » Sat Oct 06, 2018 8:11 pm

Aqarev wrote: The making and benefits of hazelnut body oil.
You will need:
- A scale.
- A hand press.
- Paper and pencil.
- A small clay oven.

The nuts must be precisely dried.
The process must be exact and careful. One must weigh the nuts, and bake them in a very weak oven, keeping track of how much liquid they lost.
While they bake, at every one hour interval, subtract the new weight from the original weight, this is the weight lost. Then divide the weight lost by the original weight, and multiply that number by 100, that is the moisture percentage of your nuts. Once they have dried ten percent of their starting weight, allow them to cool completely before moving on.
It is at the very final stages of this process I add a few green leaves to smoke the hazelnuts, and give them a more suitable aroma for one such as myself.

Pass the hazelnuts through a hand press, with a glass jar below to catch the dripping oils. The jar must be kept in a cool and dry place, I find it most adviseable to fill up a tiny bottle and keep with me, while most of the oil remains unbothered.

This oil is good for hair, skin, and leathers. I most commonly use it when I rub aching muscles, or brush my hair and sideburns.
It is a fine luxury to have, and one I am thankful for.

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Re: Aqarev's Reflections

Post by Tomato » Wed Oct 10, 2018 8:33 am

Aqarev wrote: Nails of the hand and foot.
Clean under them after dirty work.
Push the edges out of the skin of the foot to prevent the nail from piercing skin, and to keep it straight.
Wipe down blood splatters between the nail and the skin before it has dried if possible, blood dries the skin of the hands, making the skin unpleasant to the touch.
Clip them once a week, and immediately file the sharp, jagged edges to a smooth finish before buffing them with a high grit nail file.

Above all, a man must have clean hands. This tells of his dignity and culture.
I am aware of the tendency of blood and mud to stick to one's body, but this is an unbreakable rule if one wishes to make himself known as a respectable man.

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Re: Aqarev's Reflections

Post by Tomato » Fri Oct 19, 2018 7:20 pm

Aqarev wrote: Sweets, women, spirits and beauty.
"He who wants a beautiful, rich, smart woman, will end up with three."
And those three would give him quite the headache, as well.
I have found, in my many years on this plane, that women are not to be trusted.
They would lie through their tears and softly manipulate their men, much like kittens, hiding their sharp claws, until they are ready to strike.

"Through vacuous intellect, the mind becomes shallow, through vacuous food, the body becomes shallow."
Sweet things are not a solution to any problem. Most utilized by weak minded individuals to cover up some kind of emotional hurt, they fill an empty stomach with nothing but rot.
Their sweetness is only an excuse for an indelicately prepared food, properly made food should be savory and salty to just the right amount, using fresh roasted and ground spices.

"To dispute with a drunkard is to debate with an empty house."
In my years as a bartender I have seen the reasons and ways in which men drink.
Weak men, who wish to forget, and make clever excuses or plays on words to explain their weakness to others, and seem stronger, like a peacock waving its tail against the cheetah of life. While I can prepare them, as any poison I may use, I find their taste disgusting, and use even more. I keep a few of good ones on hand, for those whom company I enjoy, so they would not have to drink bad beer, but I would never touch such a thing myself.

"Beauty is a shooting star, it may catch one's eye, but quickly fade away."
I have found, through many hours of meditation, how much I despise the overly beautiful. Smooth skin, long hair, bright eyes, and so on.
They are nothing more than a mask for the serpent within, and those who would be fooled by such are not people I would put my trust in.
Beauty comes from the soul, from one's deepest darkest energies. Their movements, their actions, the life they have chosen to lead, not from the paint on lips and the glitter on long necks.
Last edited by Tomato on Wed Oct 31, 2018 11:37 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Aqarev's Reflections

Post by Tomato » Wed Oct 31, 2018 11:36 am

Aqarev wrote: Essentials of wrestling
Many intelligent men I have met have been of the opinion that in wrestling, strength is most important. I am certain, on the other hand, that art holds a more crucial role.
Strength is what every boxer must have to step into the ring, but art is the quality and grace with which he wins a match.
A lesser degree of art will be more effective than a great amount of strength, and deficiency of strength will be greatly supplied by art.
Without it, a man will be left a bumbling fool, heavy and unwieldy.
The strength of a Man chiefly consists of the power of his muscles, the strength of his bones, these are the strings and levers of a man's body, and they must be kept oiled with practice and habit.
The position of the body is the first and greatest thing to consider, a firm equilibrium will serve a man well.
For a right handed man such as myself, resting the left side closer to the opponent would allow for more range of motion for the lever of the arm, turning the stronger side of the body into a keen weapon of rippling muscle and exact art.
In this stance, the man must preserve an easy flexing of his knees so that his movement will come faster, feet pointing towards the opponent.
Very few of those who fight know why a blow on any particular part of the body has such effect, yet by experience, know that under the ear, between the eyebrows, and about the stomach are the most efficient.

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Re: Aqarev's Reflections

Post by Tomato » Fri Nov 02, 2018 1:22 am

Aqarev wrote:Speaking of one's emotions.
Admittedly tempting, it is bad form.
Selfish yet not comforting.
Eschew this shameful indulgence.

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Re: Aqarev's Reflections

Post by Tomato » Wed Nov 14, 2018 1:26 am

Aqarev wrote: Lies.
It is a curious feeling, to know that another lies to you.
There is always the cold blue taste of betrayal, like blood ruining a perfect, clean, white snowscape.
Not many lie to me, they think I am honest, for I rarely lie. Perhaps this is foolish, for a servant of the Prince of Lies should manipulate others to have his own holy Self and Will overcome.
But one must not lie to their own. Perhaps it is not a sin in our Lord's amethyst eyes, but it is to Me.
And is the Self not paramount?

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Re: Aqarev's Reflections

Post by Tomato » Thu Nov 15, 2018 10:45 pm

Aqarev wrote:Death

I never was afraid of death.

In my days as a slave, I knew my life was worthless and short, and could be snuffed out without much care.
As I grew older and older, I recognized the aches in my shoulders and arms, the sagging of my skin, how deeply cold penetrated into my bones and old wounds, how hard it would become to stand upright and rigid in armor for long hours. I knew it comes with creeping steps, I knew my withering cannot be stopped. But I was never scared of its claws grasping me.

Eryn, my dear daughter, you come to my mind, at this time, unbidden. The child I always dared to want, and has been gifted to me at the end of my life. I should have been warmer towards you. May your back be wrought iron, and your spirit a feather.
Naarah, my friend, I hope you find your freedom far from this dismal faith and your own. Mage, I never meant those words, in my will. I can see now my madness, and I hope you sleep well, for sleep is truly important. Perhaps you will join me in the Supreme Throne one day so I will be able to apologize.
Aztor, guard my loved ones well, and may you never taste this bitter betrayal.
Kurz, I am glad you found love in that human. Celebrate it without shame.
Harder, keep watch over my child, and may we meet again.

When I visited the Wall, I was not frightened, for I serve faithfully, as both Banite and Cyricist, I had served to the best of my abilities. My Tyrant and my Prince have always offered me this forgiving light.
I had seen the light when Alissa brought the blade down on me, Alissa whom I love with all my heart, and now feel intense pity towards. I saw it beckoning, asking me to live again, to serve, to Murder those of the Church, and wash their blood upon my altar.
But I would not take it.

I often say a man who has a why to live, can bear almost any how. But with this action, Vance had taken the how away, cruelly, cowardly, selfishly, and I no longer wished to step into that light and behold him. It would have been too painful, in this, at least, I will not fail.
I will stay dead.

I am sure I am already forgotten, I do not fear death. I would see new faces, in the Supreme Throne, perhaps hear interesting stories of men who had changed and had been changed, and hope Vance does not join me soon, for despite my cruel words, and his utter disregard for the man he had sculpted and driven mad with his own two hands,
I love him, for the change he wrought in me.

What I fear most is loneliness, and that was granted when those I had trust and love for murdered me so callously.
Perhaps the worst thing is that I would have done the same if he had asked. It would have pained me to hurt Alissa, or Matthew, for I truly do love them in a way that is unfit and improper for a Cyricist.
For him, I would have done anything and everything, for the main who lifted my chains, no whim was too outrageous.

Not even to die.

I am crushed with sorrow, for he had not the courage or care to end me with his own hands.

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