Next page has a sketch of two men, and a goblin standing at the entrance of the Sibayad Town Market
Karma has been harassed by some paladins at the Radiant Heart. Igogh, Eirik and I had visited his home in Minmir and it looked like a storm ransacked the place.
Why would shining-armored golden paladins would do such a thing to someone who is just, like us, trying to get by, living in this life - in a world where everyone view you with hatred because of what your kin has done.
I am glad Karma have found his sanctuary in Sibayad. I even met Karma's legal advocate, a man named Cedrick Montovan, and his associate Hamilton Hayes. Both kind-hearted (and good-looking) men.
The next day I posted in their public boards, that I pledged my sword to Cedrick Montavan, as a gratitude since I could not help Karma in this problem, I shall repay it in some other way to them.
Ahhh... Sibayad... I love it's beautiful people, with kind warm hearts.
The next page has the sketch of Sune Firehair's insignia and on top in n bold words "Sune's Curse"
If I wasnt sure I was cursed by Sune Firehair before, now my suspicion has been proven true. I've never been lucky in that part of my life.. but, thankfully I'm just celebrating my 20th winters, thus far, so I may have time to remedy this damned curse.
I was sure I was cursed by Lady Firehair when I fell for my commander, the First Axe, Eirik Skuring. I knew he was engaged to a Sunite paladin named Aligonda. That really didnt stop him from kissing me, that night at the Weatherstone. And why in the red dragon's arse should I find myself kissing him back?
I should have pushed him off of that cliff really.... I probably would have been better off right now.
You know, I didnt expect to be able to steal a Sunite paladin's betrothed. But it happened. Hell I didnt expect him to even give me one side-glance.
Compared to me, that woman is so beautiful... if I was in his boots I definately would not look any other way. Just look at her, for Firehair's sake.
I went with the flow of things. I agreed to see him in secrecy. I hurt every time I see them together, especially when she kissed him. It was unbearable.
I told him about my feelings. And you know what happened.... ? Yhe next tenday he ended his relationship with Aligonda. I was sure, am cursed...
Part of the reason why I went with this relationship (if you can call it that) is that, I wanted to prove something. That I can do it: I can steal a beautiful woman's lover. It is a fine feather for my horrible hat.
That is why I agreed to be in that twisted love-affair with him, behind her back. I regret all of it now. I didn't want to hurt anyone... not her especially.
Zeke was right: if Eirik could cheat on Aligonda what makes me think he won't cheat on me?
I should have listened to my wise friend. But such is life. I always had to learn things hard way.... and this learning exercise really put a dent to my armor so deep, that it may be irreversible.
What makes me think this was love? Even if he professed it. Even if he said I made him mad with love - I have no idea what that word even means.
I at least know it is different from lust. And I think that was it. It was just lust....
Love is too lofty and too mythical. People probably lie when they say they "love" - because they have no idea, not a drop of idea, what it really is.
And why do I hurt now that the relationship is finally over? I should be relieved, the curse may lift now. I want it to stop hurting in my chest everytime I think of him.
And I hope someday I'd find out...what love is. But for now, as Derristan advised, I should focus on myself and on my training in order to get better in the battlefield.
Because, really, what will be the use of this "love" if you would fall so easily on your enemy's sword?
The next page had the sketch of the Logjam in guldorand, with the Speedy messenger in front of it.
My first trek into Baator was mediocre, it was not bad. This second time with Eirik, Derristan and Evana is .... horrendous for me. But it is not nearly as horrendous as my very first morning as a Housecarl when I was awoken with a Speedy message from Eirik that I must come in front of the Logjam because it is important.
I thought it was just going to be a morning exercise, to get to know my fellow Housecarls... No. It wasnt. We were gearing up for war.
It is a good thing that I had brand new Mithril armor and Bastard Sword... the night before. And I had laced my armor with the required burgundy color. Im very handy with tailoring and adjusting the fit of my armor to match my body. That benefitted me... that day. I didnt look like a completely dumb scrub.
I remember that day, I saw Ezekiel Klennald - Zeke -for the very first time again, in almost a year. I was comforted that he is a Housecarl - I will be fightungvwars on his side. He is a very competent and fierce battlepriest of Tyr. Sometimes I think he is scarier in the battlefield than my old mentor, in Steel Fang... I know then, when I saw him, that I was ready for war. Hello again old friend...!
That day was also the first time I have ever met, Derristan Barley - who would become one of my closest friends at the Axehold. He is like an older brother to me
Eirik Skuring was busy talking with a lot of people, in Speedy messenger service to gather everyone in front of the Logjam. I was very intimidated, but I tried not to show it. I have been a scrub before, I can take orders just fine. I know the drill... but I have .. never... in my life been thrown into war on my first day as a soldier. There were no orientation? I knew then that this is gonna be a tough position I have taken in the Axehold. Leadership of this army could, definitely, be improved.
Not that I am not ready for a fight. I was. I try to be, always. I just didnt expect to go into a raid to face drows in the Arcane Tower... you know on that day, so long ago, I have never seen a drow yet. I have heard tales about them and I am scared to my core.
I remember praying to Tempus quietly in my mind, for him to see me, at least, a deserving warrior to enter Warrior's Rest if I did fall that day.
I remember sending a message to Saethe, for him to be there at The Arcane Tower. I know he won't want to miss this so I sent him word. This is where it gets horrendous.
Saethe went Guldorand, instead of towards the Arcane Tower. Or he went to the Arcane Tower already and decided to go up here in the mountains. I dont know. But he met up with the group preparing to storm The Arcane Tower. He seemed lost... That was the last time I have seen him face to face. He was trying to convince us to go down into the drows' lair, into the underdark and slay them. Madness.
I told him even if I wanted to do that, I can not, because I am under command of the First Axe of Guldorand - Eirik Skurung. Saethe didnt know I joined Axehold, and I knew he was very disappointed.
I would never see him again after that... The next tenday, the news of his death came. He was killed outside of Cordor and his body was dismembered and displayed in Andunor.... a horrendous end, undeserved end.
I think I fell to pieces that day. Unbelievable grief - not that I am not used to suffering grief. But because I didnt know my heart would rend. It was unexpected... Ive always considered grief a close friend of mine. Ever since the day I had lost both my parents. I was young still, and that experience prepared me for the worst that Faerun, or this life, can ever throw at me.
Grief, though tends to strengthen the heart. And envelope it in a cold armor....
That day ended with just minor incidents. The drow had left the tower in haste. I was glad there was not much bloodshed.
The next page is a full two-page sketch of Devon Blake, Marianne, Valendel and Adrian Solsthaim walking in the desert lands outside of sibayad.
Today was the easiest raid I have ever been in, inside the Orc Breeding camp outside of Sibayad.
Early morning while I'm just waking up and writing my reports a very annoying speedy came to me by someone named Adrian Solsthaim. I dont know who it was. The message asked me to join them in some sort of campaign. I turned it down because I am too busy. Another Speedy messenger came: "You can not refuse!".
I sent one message back, colorful with curses and threats.
That messenger sweated when I cursed. I must have been breathing fire.
So that was my morning. Mid-day I decided to take a walk into Sibayad to visit the oasis and maybe train in the sands.
That is where I saw this group gathered: Devon Blake (A mage, I've known him for a long time now in Cordor), Valendel (that very loud annoying but really charming in his own way, elf archer) and Adrian Solsthaim (another finger-waggler like Devon, who was unknown to me still at that moment) and Marianne ( a lady with horns in her head, who casts darkness.)
After all the introductions, I found out that it was Valendel who sent the second insolent message. The one which demanded that I cant refuse to show up. I almost scuffled with him.... I dont even know why I was angry that day. Maybe stress?
In any case, it was a lovely training day with all of them. I learnt the power of mages. I hardly lifted my sword, and I didnt even pick up any treasures or loot. It was me, walking easily through the orc breeding camp, while spells and arrows fly over my head and around my body to annihilate every single orc in sight. That amazing man, Adrian seems to have unlimited destructive magic.... .
I was learning about different kinds of spells, by observation, how darkness works, how it affects the enemy, what spells allow me to see in darkness. I also learned a bit about traps that awaited to ensnare us inside. We avoided most of them.... I needed that training. And I hope to go back again soon, with them, if I can.
Devon said he will arrange it for us to go again. I'm so glad.