Mental health

[Anime Sword Fighter]

This post contains references to depression and suicide, and as such requires this warning.

I wanted to take a moment to offer my PM inbox to anyone who would like an ear, an outlet, or otherwise someone to listen to what troubles they may be going through. I have dealt with severe depression and suicide in my life, and would like to offer this hand of solidarity for other members in the community.

This does not replace seeing a therapist, talking to friends and family, or visiting a professional.


Post edited for clarity.

[Lorkas]

At the very least, this is a useful reminder to us all that self-care is important, and talking to others can be an important part of that.

Thanks, Coreybush11.

This, of course, cannot replace speaking to a licensed clinical therapist. Please seek out help from a trained professional if/when you are in need of it.

[Meliboeus]

This deserves a sticky. If anybody's having a hard time, please don't be afraid to talk about it. Doesn't have to be Coreybush11. Co-workers, friends, family, pets, members of your grinding party. Talking always helps.

Given that, I'm also very happy to listen if anybody needs to talk.

[Dr_Hazard89]

<3

It's nice to see this. That's a lovely offer.

[RamblerTeo]

yo can i vemt about the fact that a dm took away my 350 boost yeezys (in pirate black) 2015 edition?

they had clout & drank as perma stats on them

[Cortex]

How do i buy gf?

[Dalenger]

How do i buy gf?

I'll b ur gf for a rune scimmy okay?

[Ork]

Kind of poor taste, guys.

[MalKalz]

Mental health is a serious issue and topic, and should not be treated with jokes. What Corey has done is offer an awareness and service to anyone - and then the topic was derailed with immature postings.

I ask that you give the topic the seriousness that it deserves, and be considerate to your fellow players for the efforts they put in to ensure both you and them are of sound mind, and spirit to enjoy the game.

If further immaturity continues, this thread will be locked.

[Queen Titania]

Mental health is a serious issue and topic, and should not be treated with jokes. What Corey has done is offer an awareness and service to anyone - and then the topic was derailed with immature postings.

I ask that you give the topic the seriousness that it deserves, and be considerate to your fellow players for the efforts they put in to ensure both you and them are of sound mind, and spirit to enjoy the game.

If further immaturity continues, this thread will be locked.

Quoting for emphasis. Let's stay mature and civil.

[The GrumpyCat]

Mental health is a serious issue and topic, and should not be treated with jokes. What Corey has done is offer an awareness and service to anyone - and then the topic was derailed with immature postings.

I ask that you give the topic the seriousness that it deserves, and be considerate to your fellow players for the efforts they put in to ensure both you and them are of sound mind, and spirit to enjoy the game.

If further immaturity continues, this thread will be locked.

And if further emphesis is needed, here it is.

[Rogaku]

Yeah, I agree on the Mental Health issue being serious folks.. I know 3 Dms + now have asked this topic be taken more seriously, but it cannot be stressed enough.

If you need someone to talk to , while I check my forums account less if you do need to talk, please flag me down.

[Cortex]

Better and more serious advice would be to seek help RL with family or friends, rather than via a gaming forum with strangers.

[Sockss]

Got to agree that, as a serious issue, this isn't really the place for it.

Legit thought this was troll bait.

[The GrumpyCat]

Better and more serious advice would be to seek help RL with family or friends, rather than via a gaming forum with strangers.

Arelith is very much a community. For better and for worse, people make very close relationships through this game. I can think of at least two couples, off the top of my head, who've gotten together because of arelith!

Also sometimes it's easier talking with someone who does have a bit of distance, or sometimes people don't have those networks. If 'talking to friends and family' was always the option, then we wouldn't have the Samaratans, or various other help-phonelines where people can talk to well... strangers. Some people just don't have that sort of support network.

It can be difficult admitting to someone you're close to that you're depressed, or anxious, or even suicidal. You might not wans to put that weight on them. You might be ashamed of your feelings. You might be afraid of driving them away. You might even be afraid of it being spread around and distorted. Or even just people treating you different.

There can be a curious safty and ease of distance and anonymity.

Yes, this is gaming forum, and no I don't recommend that people publically discuss their issues. If Cory was opening a topic inviting people to speak openly about their issues, then I might agree. But it's been offered privatly, though PMs, in a way that does not dirupt or disturb anyone else.

Indeed if members like Corey are being generous enough to offer their time and energy to be there for someone else- even a stranger, then frankly I think that's admirable, and speaks very highly of our community as a whole.

And if you consider a kind offer to help people who are undergoing some real mental pain an invitation to 'trolling' then I'd ask you to reconsider your outlook.

[Bran Bree]

Hello, this post may be triggering for some.

I wanted to take a moment to offer my PM inbox to anyone that would like someone to vent, discuss, or otherwise lend an ear for any troubles they may have. I have dealt with severe depression and suicide in my life, and think it would be a terrible shame if we lost any of our beloved community here to these burdensome afflictions.

Thanks.

(This does not replace going to a counselor, therapist, etc. I simply want to reach a hand of solidarity to anyone that needs it. It's also personally reasonable not to trust a random Internet stranger with your most personal thoughts, so I won't take offense if you scoff or laugh at this.)

Thank you very much for the post, Coreybush11. And Lorkas. Really means a lot to me as a reminder that there ARE people out there who care. Something that's easy to forget for those who deal with severe depression and often feel very alone in the world.

I agree, self-care and a sense of community are so very important for wellness (both of which I have struggled with in my own life). For what it's worth, I think that Arelith is wonderful in that regard because it's a way to relax, have fun, and interact with an awesome community of players.

I don't log that often, but when I do it's almost always a great experience. So, again, for what it's worth... thank you for the post.

[DM Wish]

Better and more serious advice would be to seek help RL with family or friends, rather than via a gaming forum with strangers.

Everyone's situation is different, some may not have RL friends and family to turn to so it is a choice that individuals should make for themselves. As Grumpy said we are a community, and different people contribute to different degrees some contribute to builds, others in creative aspects - as is the case here.

Despite the concerns that have been raised above I would hope that even if people do not actively want to partipate in offering such advice that they will not work to undermine those who do. Treat as you would wish to be treated.

[Anime Sword Fighter]

This is the bare minimum that I can offer to other members in the community who may be in a similar place as I have been.

[Cortex]

Well meaning and welcoming it may be, I trust Corey in those regards, but it sets a dangerous precedent. Malicious people and scammers love to leap at such opportunities to abuse vulnerable people, a warning about them is just as needed.

EDIT: To elaborate, I was in a very garbage situation some time ago, and while I had support from family, I googled about my problem, and the very first result was an extremely well elaborated scam made to abuse vulnerable and desperate people. As "small" as Arelith is, it is not difficult to spot malicious people, but it still should be noted that they're quite real and exist in other places.

[Echohawk]

I can also pass along a nice free little site for those interested. It has some great lessons, listeners available, and it can be as anonymous as you like. I've used it myself in the past.
https://www.7cups.com/
It also provides resources for connecting people to local therapists.

[theCountofMonteCristo]

I wasn't going to say anything, but I feel that I ought to.

Ten years ago this autumn, I came home rather broken (I'll use this word to describe how I felt. I know I wasn't actually broken, but it best describes the emotion I felt at the time) from Iraq. I had lost a childhood friend who was in my unit with me. I tried to get help through the military but I got a really crappy therapist initially.

Around December of 2007 I found Arelith and lost myself in the immersion. It was what I needed to take my thoughts away from my real life. While here, I met some amazing people: Hin Are Friends Not Food, the player of River Moonchild, If Valor Were Inches, Akala Dapple and some others. I owe these strangers so much that words cannot express. They gave me a shoulder to grieve on, one that I didn't feel I had in my real life. What I really needed WAS a stranger. One I felt safe and free of judgement from. One that... I could just walk away from and never see again if they did judge me.

Through their help I was able to move on, and I did get a second therapist who was amazing. Sometimes broken people need a complete stranger who will listen, and just be a friend, to help them out. Sometimes broken people do not feel like they can open up to their family, or the people they do know. The mind of a broken person isn't necessarily a rational one.

Do not underplay it. Yes, be cautious: There are a lot of people who seek to take advantage of people. Especially vulnerable people.

[Black Wendigo]

To be fair he did say that his offer was not a substitute for RL solutions. And speaking as one who has suffered mental illness I can vouch for that. But now that the warnings have been made (and yes they should be heeded), , WE can still appreciate this sincere attempt at empathy ( not psychology or cures).

As for steering clear of the scammers and such I can offer this word of advice: Never give anyone money or anything else in exchange for "help", unless you are VERY sure they are legit. If they want something, it is a sure sign they are likely trying to take advantage of you.

[DarkDreamer]

I am sure if he reports ANYONE abusing this gift he is offering, or anyone reports abuse from such an offer, the DM's have NO problem bringing down the almighty HAMMER OF JUSTICE on their heads with a vengeance.

[Seven Sons of Sin]

It is very important to recognize in these kinds of circumstances that lending a shoulder can be equally dangerous. It's not something to be offered lightly. Please don't feel like you need to be someone like that - that you need to be supportive. It's OK to say you're incapable of doing so. There's nothing worse than getting in over your head, and still thinking you can manage.

[Rogaku]

I do agree it is important to recognize your limits and ensure such is understood, that being said, another set of eyes, ears and brain in regards to looking into assets in the area that could HELP someone in dire need may make a difference.

Acknowledge limits, but do what can be done I say. It's not for everyone but if you can see a life spared and mend, I contend it's worth it.